Like many hard-core Beauty and the Beast fans, I spent the last year in emotional turmoil, switching back and forth between excitement and dread. When I first found out Disney had a live action remake of my all-time favourite in the making, my initial reaction was indignation.
How on earth were they going to improve on perfection? Were they or were they not going to include that naff filler, 'Human Again'? Who could they possibly find to play a convincing Belle?
And, as snippets were reported here and teasers were released there, I continued to view the whole thing with trepidation while simultaneously counting down the days like a child waiting for Christmas. Did I hate the idea? Did I love the idea? Who knows? I just know I had a lot of feelings about it!
But last week I finally got the see the film I'd been both longing for and dreading.
Beauty and the Beast is my favourite film. Not just my favourite Disney film, mind you. My favourite film of all time! My goal in life is to be Belle (enchanted castle and all), which several realistic boring people in my life keep pointing out is kind of a pipe dream.
But since the new live action remake is set to be released in less than a month, (cue hysterical shrieking) I can at least take advantage of the surge of Beauty and the Beast themed merchandise that's suddenly flooded the market.
My bedroom is about to look like it belongs to a five year old girl and I don't even care!
For all his misogyny, ignorance and deep-rooted evil, no one parties like Gaston and I wouldn't mind a trip to that tavern for a few tankards of beer and a sing-song. Or, at the very least, with this sign I can turn my own kitchen in to Gaston's Tavern...minus the antlers.
Since I gave up my job on a whim to become a penniless student again, I've had to readjust to a fairly frugal lifestyle i.e. I can't justify my weekly Boots splurge, Yankee Candle obsession or unfathomable need to purchase a range of obscure homeware items from Etsy despite not actually owning a home. I have no doubt my postman is thrilled that he doesn't have to stagger under the weight of all my packages anymore, but personally I'm having shopping withdrawal!
I miss being able to treat myself to anything I fancied. I'm mourning a life where I could immediately replace my foundation without having to weigh up my expenses. Was being a student this hard the first time round? I have a list as long as my arm of pointless things I want for absolutely no reason other than that I just want them.
And then I thought, hey, I'll share them with you guys! We'll call it the Lust List.
So here are some of the things I've been lusting after recently...
The world is truly a cruel place! Here I find there's a company that makes Disney scented candles(!) and it turns out they only ship out of the U.S. I have no doubt I could justify £12.62 for a candle, but it's the £26 on top for shipping that well and truly puts them out of my reach.
It's my favourite time of year again! The ground is scattered with crunchy orange leaves, the morning air is crisp and fresh and, best of all, Halloween is just around the corner!
I've been in love with Halloween since I can remember. The musty smell of Halloween decorations that have been sitting in the attic for the last 12 months, the feel of pumpkin guts between my fingers, scaring the life life out of my niece and nephew, I love it all!
I thought it was totally necessary to write a Halloween themed post since the witching hour is almost upon us so today I'm going to share my must-have Halloween goodies with you.
The Lush Halloween Range - Lush
Yes, all of it! Every year Lush brings out a range of Halloween themed bath and body goodies that smell frightfully good. I am obsessed with Lush products all year round so it goes without saying that these spooky soaps just call to me.
I am particularly drawn to the Sparkly Pumpkin. Lush, Halloween and glitter all combined into a single product?! Yes, I'm all over that! Grab it here!
Yankee Candles - Yankee Candle website
Ok, I'm going to be honest with you. I have never understood the worldwide obsession with Yankee Candles. £20 for something I am literally going to set fire to? Really?
But recently I've become totally obsessed with scented candles. Every time I leave the house I somehow manage to find a new candle to add to my collection.
And the candles I am most desperate to get my hands on right now are the Halloween Yankee Candles. I have no idea what Witches Brew could possibly smell like. I just know that I need it in my life! Grab it here!
Hotel Chocolat Boo! Box - Hotel Chocolat
Let's be honest, one of the best parts of Halloween is stuffing your face with sweets at the end of the night. Usually goody bags are filled with cheap lollies and gummy bears, but now that I'm a fully grown adult (most of the time) I think it's acceptable to splash out on some posh treats from Hotel Chocolat.
The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack and Sally Mug - The Disney Store
The perfect addition to your mug tree this Halloween...and all year round! I have a deep-rooted love for Disney Store mugs, which is slightly odd considering I don't drink hot drinks. They are just beautiful to look at. Is that weird? Probably.
The obsession is real! Hocus Pocus is one of my all time favourite films and I have always wanted to get my hands on The Book. I mean, how great would that look casually sitting on my nightstand?
This phone case is a slightly more practical size than the actual book and is absolutely adorable (in a creepy, bizarre kind of way). There are plenty of different sizes for different phone models too.
Hopefully this post will inspire you to go out and bag some Halloween goodies. I for one have accepted that my bank balance is about to take a serious blow.
Have a happy Halloween everyone!
In my last post I told you all about the seemingly endless process of applying for my J-1 Visa. The paperwork, the bizarre questions, the ordeal of finding the US Embassy for my interview and, of course, the queues, queues as far as the eye could see!
But, once my interview was over and done with and I'd bravely made my way back through the gates of the Embassy, past the guards with giant guns ("you'd better get used to guns if you're going to America. I've seen the ID channel. Guns everywhere!" as my mother helpfully added), my mother and I had the rest of the day to spend wandering around London. And here's how that panned out...
I wanted to go to the Dickens Museum. I mean, they have costumed tours and a gift shop. What's not to love? But my mother isn't a big fan of Dickens...or museums. She wanted to have a wander around Debenhams instead. In the end we compromised ended up in the Disney Store.
Needless to say I got in Cinderella's carriage
From there we went and had a quick nose around Selfridges. I'm not entirely sure my mother understood just how very out of place we were. She kept looking at me and asking if I'd seen anything I wanted to try on. When I told her I definitely couldn't afford anything in the shop she seemed to think that I was just being a bit of a miser until she spotted a dress she fancied and took a look at the price tag.
"I don't have my glasses on. What does that say? £19.50?"
"No...that's £1950." We quickly vacated Selfridges after that.
At the start of the day it was a
struggle to get my mother on the tube. Yes, it’s dank and scary and squashed
full of people who shoulder you out of the way and push past you on the
station. Yes, it smells and yes it is totally unnatural for human beings to be propelled
from one end of the city to the other underneath the ground at hurtling speeds.
But, for all its unhygienic and terrifying qualities, the tube really is the
best way to get around.
And, once my mother got over her
initial fear that we were all certainly going to die and saw how quickly we
could hop on at one station and pop up somewhere entirely new, she really began
to enjoy it. In fact, when we got home that night, she and my dad discussed the
wonders of the tube in depth for half an hour or more. As if it was some kind of miraculous
new invention.
Next ventured over to Camden Market
on a whim. It was awesome! You could spend days wandering through the little
stalls, peering at all the weird and wonderful curiosities on display. There
were clothes, jewellery, ornaments, books, food, artwork…pretty much
everything you can imagine, only quirkier and more bizarre. There were little
winding alleyways, cobbled tunnels and shops that were tucked up and hidden out
of the way, a barrage of different sights and sounds and a new smell every time
we turned a corner (some good and some…not so good).
The Stables Market was my favourite
(despite the fact that the horse statues made me very uneasy) because its
nineteenth century stonework, worn floorboards and general hustle and bustle made it
feel almost as though the Artful Dodger could pop up at any moment. I guess it
was the next best thing to the Dickens museum.
Next we headed to Covent Garden.
Yes, I know it’s one of the most famous places in London and yes I know it has
a Chanel and a Burberry and it’s very fancy and all that, but I preferred the randomness
and weirdly endearing griminess of Camden Market. Besides, I am in no way posh enough to go
wandering around Dior so it’s just as well that I stick with the little stalls
in Camden where a pair of earrings is £4.
When the time came for us to get
our train, neither of us were ready to head home, partly because we were having
such a lovely time nosing around London and partly because we had foolishly left
it until rush hour to catch the tube. Commuters are hostile at the best of times,
but in the city centre at 5:30pm a tourist could potentially lose a limb.
Spending the day in London made us
realise that we really don’t take advantage of the interesting places we have on
our doorstep. Here I am jetting off to explore America and I still haven’t even
begun to explore to UK. So I’m going to make an effort to travel more within the
country. Top of the list? The Dickens Museum!
So the second month of 2015 has drawn to a close. I successfully survived another Valentine's Day alone without resorting to a heart-shaped chocolate overdose and, as we move into March, we're one step closer to being able to throw off our bulky winter coats and embrace the first signs of summer as it glimmers on the horizon (or, for those of us living in South Wales, a slight increase in temperature with a good chance of showers).
Those of you who read last month's musings will know that this month I challenged myself to spend less time shouting at re-runs of Judge Judy between mouthfuls of shortbread dipped in Nutella. Well, I'm proud to say I've spent a lot less time in my pjs this month, but I'm far from being anything close to interesting and/or fun. For instance, today I was determined to go out and 'live life', but the only place I could think of the go to is an overpriced bar 15 minutes from my house. So here I've sat, nursing the world's most expensive glass of lemonade and pretending to get some work done.
But at least I'm heading in the right direction I guess.
So here's a recap of my month...
That hair!
Obsession of the month...
My February obsession was Blown Away, an album by Carrie Underwood. I downloaded it at the start of the month and I've been continuously listening to it on repeat ever since. I'm listening to it as I drive, as I work, as I attempt to force my hair into a semi-attractive style, and I sing the songs to myself while I'm in the shower. I've been a Carrie Underwood fan for years (I don't know whether I'm more impressed by her music or her wonderful country-girl hair), but this is my favourite album of hers. It just makes me want to put on my cowboy boots and pretend I'm cool.
Accomplishment of the month...
While organising my lipsticks was a pretty big deal, I'm going to say the biggest accomplishment of the month was competing in my first cheer competition. No, scratch that. My biggest accomplishment was competing in my first cheer competition without having to run off the mat and vomit into the crowd of spectators. Either way, it was an amazing day and, if you haven't already, you can take a look at how the competition panned out in my cheer vlog.
Book of the month...
I got through quite a few books in February (determined as I am not to lose any more brain cells), but the one that stood out for me was Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It was beautiful to read, words lovingly stitched together in a way that almost gave them a texture of their own. It really forced me to evaluate my life, to consider the passing of time and the inevitability of death, which, while far from uplifting, was certainly more interesting than the thoughts I usually encounter on a daily basis ("Why would they take Tangled off Netflix?" "My foundation just ran out. How can I possibly leave the house?" "If these crisps now have half the fat, can I eat two packets?" and so on).
But, honestly, this is the best book I have read in a long time.
If you like your beauty gurus funny, down to earth and honest then I'm convinced you will love Lindsay's channel. Have you ever watched someone on TV or Youtube and thought 'I wish we were BFFs, she looks like so much fun'? Well that's how I feel about Lindsay (and the Long Island Medium, but that's a story for another day).
Things ticked off The 2015 List...
Any movie with hot men in uniform is fine with me
I was convinced I had utterly failed again and made it through another entire month without crossing a single thing off the list, but when I double checked, I realised I'd managed to tick one off without even realising it. That totally still counts!
29. Watch Top Gun
I'm not sure how I made it to the ripe old age of 23 without watching a film in which Tom Cruise runs around dressed in military uniform (seriously, where has this been all my life?!) but it's fair to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Apart from the depressing bit in the middle. I sobbed through that part.
Next month I will aim to...
Work out some kind of life plan. Or, at the very least, work out what to do with the next few months. Don't get me wrong, being a full-time Disney Princess is all very well and good, but I need to start asking myself some important questions. Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? If yes, who will realistically want to hire a 40 year old Elsa impersonator? Where shall I go on my summer holiday this year? Shall I get a fringe cut in?
By the end of March I'd like to have a clearer idea of what I'm doing with my life. Or, if not my life, then at least my hair.
It's no secret that I love tag questions. It's probably mostly to do with the fact that like to read about all of the bizarre and pointless details of other people's lives. Well, it's been a while since I did my last tag and I thought it was about time for me to bombard you with a new series of weird and wonderful facts about me!
1. Do you have a middle name? I do. It's Rebecca. For some reason I struggled to spell that for years when I was in primary school. I was convinced it was Rebbeca. Even now I'm not entirely sure it looks right... 2. What was your favourite subject in school? English. Shocker! I'm pretty sure I came out of the womb with a love of literature! I was 11 years old when I decided I wanted to do an English degree at university, a decision I only questioned once when I was choosing my A Levels and I briefly toyed with the idea of going in for medicine. But, when I realised real life was nothing like Scrubs, I quickly reverted to the original plan. 3. What's your favourite drink? Jack Daniels and Diet Coke hands down. The only thing that can improve Jack Daniels in my opinion is drinking it whilst wearing cowboy boots. 4. What's your favourite song at the moment? Good Girl by Carrie Underwood. 5. What would you name your children?
The truth is, I have an absolutely epic girl's name picked out already (which may or may not make me crazy seeing as I don't even have a boyfriend) but that is top secret information. Haven't you people seen that episode of Sex and the City where that awful woman steals Charlotte's baby name? I'm not even sure I'll tell the baby's father until after it's born just in case! 6. Do you participate in any sports? I'm a cheerleader. My toe-touches are appalling, but I love it! 7. What's your favourite book? Gone with the Wind. Scarlett O'Hara is the ultimate heroine. She'd make a terrible friend though... 8. What's your favourite colour? Pink! 9. What's your favourite animal? I'm not much of a pet person (apart from bunnies. Bunnies are awesome and my bunny was the best bunny of them all!) but I love tigers, giraffes and elephants. We saw the baby elephant at West Midlands Safari Park last summer and he was adorable! No word of a lie, he knew he was the star of the show. He stood in front of each car in turn and waggled his ears at them. I thought my brain was going to explode from cuteness overload. 10. What's your favourite perfume? Right now I love Heat by Beyonce, but, in all honesty, I'll wear whatever I'm given for Christmas (providing it doesn't smell like mildew or onions or something). 11. What's your favourite holiday? Christmas is probably my favourite because I love the build up. Putting up the tree, shopping for gifts, eating my weight in chocolate coins and that kind of thing. But I also really love Halloween. Some of my best memories are of Halloween and, honestly, there's nothing like the musty smell of the boxes of Halloween decorations when you take them down from the attic each year. 12. Have you graduated from High School? No, I've just completed comprehensive school, which I don't really count as an achievement as such because it's required by law.
13. Have you been out of the country? I'm very lucky. I've been to Greece more times than I care to count, Tenerife, Portugal, France...in fact, I travelled all over Europe in 2013 with my friends Hayleigh and Bethan. I've also been to South Africa twice and Florida, but I'm not nearly done exploring. There are plenty more countries for me to humiliate myself in! 14. Do you speak any other languages? I should speak Welsh, partly because I was taught it from the age of 4 to the age of 16, and partly because there's something very sad about not being able to speak your national language. But compulsory Welsh lessons are very lax and, over time I've forgotten about 80% of what I learned at school. I still remember how to say a few key things like "I would like a cake" and "My belly hurts" so I guess that's something. 15. Do you have any siblings? I have an older brother. And when I say older, I mean old. He's 37. Pretty soon he'll be balding and using a walking stick. (Love you, Rob!) 16. What's your favourite store? Either Waterstones or The Range. I'm not even sure where the appeal lies in The Range because it's mostly full of Tupperware and wallpaper, but I just love it. 17. What's your favourite restaurant? TGI Fridays. Those people put Jack Daniels on chicken and serve the best cosmopolitans. Enough said! 18. Do you like school? I would give anything to go back to school (probably not comprehensive school because it was a shambles, but college or university). I miss learning things! I'm very concerned that my brain is slowly turning to mush. By next week I might not even remember how to read. 19. Who are some of your favourite YouTubers? Linzy Rae Leigh Ann Says Kendall Rae
Can I count myself?
20. What's your favourite movie? Beauty and the Beast. I feel no shame. It is amazing. 21. What are some of your favourite TV shows? Toddlers and Tiaras, Say Yes to the Dress, American Horror Story, Desperate Housewives...again I feel no shame. 22. PC or Mac? Oh how I wish I could afford a Mac! 23. What phone do you have? I have an iPhone 5. I'm pretty sure the contract is up though... 24. How tall are you? 5 4" (that could be pushing it). So there you have it. Another 24 totally random facts about me!
Generally speaking, 2014 has been a weird year for me. For a start, it went so quickly that my head is still spinning, but I have no real idea of what I've done in the last 12 months to show for it. In 2013 I took up blogging, had a bizarre overseas romance, partied with elves, went on more spontaneous nights out than any one person has a right to do in the course of a single year, and travelled Europe, just off the top of my head.
Well, I've hinted at it and mentioned it in passing and used all of my self control to stop myself from blurting it out for the past month or more while boring bits of paperwork were still being signed and nods from official-type people were waiting to be received, but at long last I am officially self-employed. My Entrepreneur Barbie beams down at me from my dressing table every morning and I think about how much we have in common. We both like shoes and pink things and we're both women of business now. Granted her hair is significantly better than mine and she never gets bags under her eyes, but I try not to dwell on that.
So what is this business I hear you cry? Am I going to be some kind of high powered business woman in a suit, talking about graphs and holding business meetings in Starbucks? No. Of course not.
"I am...a princess"
I am fulfilling my life's ambition. I am...a princess. I think the technical term is 'children's entertainer', but I love to see how people react when they ask what I do for a living and I tell them I'm a princess. They are most likely inwardly debating whether or not I'm crazy.
But I swear I am totally sane. Or, at least, as sane as I have always been. I've started up a hire-a-princess business. If you read my post about Lauren's birthday party back in August, then you may recall the Elsa impersonator we hired. The one who had her black bra on show and seemed to have no actual knowledge of Frozen. And didn't actually talk to the children. Or smile.
Well right then I there I decided to go ahead and become a princess impersonator myself. I mean, clearly this job is only second to actually working in Disney World! And, being a perfectionist, and lifelong princess fan, I knew I could do a good job of it.
So my bedroom is covered in glitter and rhinestones and there are princess-themed props all over the house (much to my mother's dismay). I've gone on a business course and can now confidently navigate Microsoft Excel and sort out my taxes. I have leaflets and my very own business page on Facebook (which you should totally go and like, by the way) and things are finally getting off the ground.
I had my first party this weekend and it was absolutely magical! The little ones were in awe and it was just fabulous! We had a princess story time, lots of lovely photos and the birthday girl had a very special pixie dust wish. One little one was a particularly big fan and came out with all sorts of wonderful questions and comments. My particular favourite was, "I've been at work all day in the killing factory. We kill the nasty animals for people to eat. Not the nice ones though, only the nasty ones". Oh, the mind of a four year old is a wonderful thing!
So I am officially a princess and loving every minute of it (apart from the accounts, obviously). I mean, prancing around, singing, watching Disney films and getting to dress up in sparkly princess dresses...it's the job I was born to do!
The Littlest Loon turned five last week and, as a family, Wellingtons are not known for throwing low key, run of the mill celebrations. I attempted to throw a small, casual gathering for my birthday last September and ended up with a full blown Alice in Wonderland extravaganza ("I want it to feel like an opium trip...lots of clocks and giant mushrooms..."). So it seemed only natural that I would spend the weeks leading up to Lauren's birthday battling with the glue gun, brushing glitter out of my hair and running around town trying to find a life-sized Olaf balloon to put together a Frozen themed party fit for a princess.
The party itself was a roaring success. True, there was a brief period at the start when things looked a little rocky. Lauren worked out how to use the smoke machine and, within a few minutes, you couldn't see from one side of the room to the other. Then the smoke alarms went off and the rest of the building started to evacuate. Right in the midst of the piercing shrieks of the fire alarm, the Elsa impersonator turned up and added an entirely new dimension of weirdness to the scene. Her yellow wig was off centre and her black bra was on show. Overall, I'm not sure anyone was convinced she was really the Queen of Arendelle.
"I'm not sure anyone was convinced..."
But, once we'd deactivated the smoke alarms, opened all the doors and windows to let out the fog, and 'Elsa' had left the building, things really picked up. We had all the usual children's party games, pass the parcel and musical statues. Then we brought out the karaoke, which was simply adorable right up until the third or fourth time I had to listen to another rendition of Let it Go. There were happy children everywhere and, after the last little one headed off with their party cone and a big grin on her face, I was more than happy to take a deep breath, relax into a chair and have a Jack Daniels. Who would have thought organising a fifth birthday party could be so stressful?
Anyway, I thought I'd show you some of the little bits and pieces I put together for the party in case any of you are planning a Frozen themed party of your own and want a few ideas. Most of the decorations I made were put together with things I already had around the house so be creative. In this instance anything with glitter is probably going to work just fine.
I rushed this sign yesterday morning right before we went to the party and it's taken me until just now to realise I'd spelled Arendelle wrong (I knew it didn't look right!). Luckily most of our guests can't read very well yet so I think it went undetected for the most part.
I loved these little jars! I made three of them and each was slightly different. They were very simple to make, although quite time consuming. I made some very small tissue pom poms (instructions can be found on Google), glued them to some ice blue straws and embellished them with glitter and sparkly ribbon. I cut some snowflakes out of plain white card (who knew snowflakes were so hard to draw?) and added some gems and glitter and stuck them to the straws too. I made the little snowmen out of little white pom poms and coloured wooden craft sticks. Then I added some ribbon and sparkles to glass jars, stuffed them with cotton wool and arranged the decorations inside.
I wish we had a better picture of the snow doorway, but you get the idea. The kids loved it (although by the end of the party it looked less like a flurry and more like the aftermath of a blizzard). I just threaded cotton wool balls of various sizes onto fishing wire. With the glue gun I secured each ball with a dot of glue underneath so they wouldn't slide back down the wire. Then I attached each length of fishing wire to ribbon, which we then pinned to the door frame so guests had to walk through the snow to enter the party.
These little food signs were easy to make and really emphasized the theme. It's essentially folded card that looks fancy because I added glittery snowflakes and cut it with a craft scissors. Sometimes the simplest things look the most effective.
I piped faces and buttons onto these marshmallows with writing icing. I never want to see another marshmallow for as long as I live, but the kids really loved them.
The Sven cupcakes were a big hit! All I did was ice my cupcakes with chocolate butter-cream, use mini marshmallows for the noses, iced on the eyes and mouths with writing icing and used cut up Curly Wurlys for the antlers.
Then my sister-in-law amazed everyone by making a three tier birthday cake. True, it's got nothing on Cake Boss, but considering she just picked up some icing and thought, 'I think I'll make Lauren's cake myself' I think it's fabulous! I thought cupcakes were stressful, but this is something else entirely!
Needless to say, it's going to be a while before I can bring myself to watch Frozen again. I'm still finding glitter in my shoes and last night, after weeks of stressful planning and late night glue-gunning, I slept for a solid twelve hours without any party related nightmares for the first time in a while. But Princess Lauren had a fabulous time and overall I'd call it a success.
Now to plan my birthday party for next weekend. I've been pre-warned by my mother that this year all themes are banned...
My four year old niece, Lauren, is a loon. When her older brother first laid eyes on her he said, "Welcome to this world" as if she was an alien rather than a newborn. At the time we thought nothing of it, but looking back he may have been on to something. At two months months old she started to growl at us. She has only very recently grown out of it.
"...my little diva..."
Cupcake Mumma has a cute little interview with her daughter on her blog called 43 Questions for Midge and I thought I'd steal the idea to try out with Lauren. Unfortunately, I knew my little diva wouldn't have the attention span or patience to sit through forty three questions so I cut it down a little.
When I turned up at my brother's house yesterday afternoon, Lauren answered the door in an Anna dress, high-heeled Snow White shoes, fairy wings, and a face full of make-up. Her left eye was covered in purple eyeshadow and the right eye was plastered with pink eyeshadow. I'm not entirely sure if she was trying to set a new trend with that one. Then she began dancing and referring to herself as Strawberry Girl. It was a while before I could sit her down to answer my questions, but the answers were...interesting.
The following is what happens when you ask a four year old loon questions about herself. Everything I say is in orange, Lauren's answers are in purple and side remarks from Ellis (he couldn't help himself) are in green.
What makes you happy?
....
What makes you happy?
....I'm thinking....
Oh, ok. Take your time.
...Playing with Ellis on Infinity.
What makes you sad?
When Ellis shouts at me when I want to play infinity.
That's a lie!
What makes you laugh?
Bursting balloons.
If you could do anything today what would you do?
Oooh. Anything? If I bought an Elsa doll like my Rapunzel doll with long hair and not any plaits. Elsa one...umm...with the dress.
How old are you?
Four.
How old am I?
*Shrugs*
Have a guess.
...Thirteen?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Princess.
Who is your best friend?
Tommy.
What is you favourite animal?
Oooh. Unicorn!
*Sigh*
What is your favourite song?
You know.
Let it go?
No.
Cutie Patootie?
No.
Underpuppy?
No.
Gangnam Style?
No! Wreck it Ralph! *Laughs hysterically*
What is your favourite food?
Chocolate.
Where is your favourite place to go?
Neverland.
What are you really good at?
You know. Balancing.
What are you not very good at?
Jumping.
What do you want for your birthday?
The Elsa doll like my Rapunzel one.
What did you do today?
Play princesses.
If you were invisible for a day what would you do?
Umm...go in front of them?
"...a four year old loon..."
So there you have it. It's like a window into the mind of a deranged person. When the questions were over, she looked at me and said, "Now I'm going to follow you wherever you go because I love you. I will follow you. Forever. You can't walk away from me."
"So...kind of like a stalker then?" I said.
"Yeah."
"Ok. Great."
But I want to leave you with this anecdote. Lauren went into my brother's room one morning, woke him up, leaned in close to his face and said, "Mam Morgan is going to die in one hundred sleeps." How creepy is that? We have it marked on the calendar. Just in case.
I'm back in Exeter, patiently waiting for my housemates to finish their exams and doing my utmost not to run into their study area with a bottle of tequila and demand someone entertains me. Instead, I've spent my afternoon looking up a half-decent questions tag for my blog (note to whoever writes these, 'what do you order at Starbucks?' is not an interesting or enlightening question). Eventually I found the fairytale tag and, as I am on board with anything Disney-related, I've spent my time typing away at this and avoiding housework. After all, I'm not Cinderella.
"I am on board with anything Disney-related"
Snow White - Do you consider yourself beautiful?
There are some variables to consider here. For instance, am I wearing make up? Did I just wake up? Am I sober? Sometimes I can look in the mirror and think, "Oh wow! I look great!" but I'm always treading the line between Beauty and the Beast and you never know which way it's going to go.
Sleeping Beauty - How many hours do you sleep at night?
Somewhere in the region of 10-12 hours a night, which is slightly excessive.
Cinderella - Do you have a curfew?
It would be rather ludicrous for my parents to officially implement a curfew now that I'm 22 years years old, have been living alone on and off for three years and have proven myself to be an upstanding member of society (most of the time). They always know exactly when I return home anyway because I've usually forgotten my keys and have to wake them up to let me in. I'm a joy to live with all round.
Rapunzel - Do you love being outside?
"I'm always treading the line between Beauty and the Beast"
I'm no hiker if that's where we're going with this. I have hayfever, I'm allergic to insect bites and camping is my idea of the ultimate torture. In a world where you can get a room in the Premier Inn for £20, why would you choose to sleep outside on the floor? But I'm more than happy to be outside if it's on a beach. A warm beach. A warm beach with men who bring me cocktails.
Unfortunately yes. There was the time Kirsty found me making friends with a large group of Iranian men who were giving away free champagne. Then there was the time Hayleigh and I agreed to follow a group of army officers in posh suits back to an after party in the Grand Hotel. (Free gin? Why not?) And who could forget the incident in Venice when I led my friends into a wine cellar because the waiter told me he owned it? And that he had a gondola.
The Wolf and The Seven Young Kids - Are you easy to fool?
See the above story concerning the man with the gondola who, in hindsight, had so obviously illegally broken into that wine cellar.
The Little Mermaid - What would you sacrifice for love?
I'm a true romantic. That said, I don't think I would ever willingly give up my voice the way The Little Mermaid did. I'm sure there are many people who wish I would, but it would take a seriously amazing man to convince me to shut up for more than five minutes. However, there's plenty I would give up. I'd move away, I'd spend all my money, I'd set aside my plans...I wouldn't give up my shoes, though. That's not negotiable.
The Frog King - What do you find disgusting?
There are many things I find disgusting, but what instantly pops to mind (probably due to some recent escapades) is the decline of chivalry. Call me sexist (I'm sure you will), but there is nothing more disgusting to me than a man who pushes past a woman in a queue, allows a door to slam in her face, or dashes for the last seat on the train and lets a girl stand. If this is progress, hand me an apron and count me out.
Jack and the Beanstalk - What plants do you have?
None. I have an excessive amount of mould growing in my bedroom in Exeter if that counts?
Puss in Boots - Do you have pets? If not, do you want them?
I have no pets. I have no desire to get pets. And I do not appreciate pet owners trying to force me to love their pets. You may see it as some kind of small child with fur, but I wouldn't take kindly to your real children slobbering over me and I don't appreciate it from the dog either.
Pinocchio - What is your biggest wish?
I've got my fingers crossed for a miracle. My nephew has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, which is a progressive muscle-wasting disease. My biggest wish is for a cure. Yeah, I know, way to darken the mood.
Peter Pan - What is your mental age?
My mother calls me childish. I prefer to think of it as a youthful inner glow. After spending some time at home I realised just how much I have in common with my niece. We love the same films, I envy her amazing pink dresses, we discuss Barbie at length. So, from that, I would put my mental age at four. No. Four and a half.
"We discuss Barbie at length..."
The Star Money - What is your most valuable possession?
I have some fancy mod-cons, I have my cute little car, and, when my Nanna was alive, she used to buy me expensive earrings (which I am too terrified to wear). But I'm very sentimental. My most treasured possession would be something left behind by my grandparents, photos of me when I was tiny and adorable, or the weird gifts my niece and nephew get me.
The Princess and the Pea - Are you sensitive?
Yes. I especially react badly to being shouted at. My neighbour shouted at me a couple of weeks ago and I cried for four hours. That probably had more to do with the fact that my dissertation was due in a few days later and I hadn't slept in nights, but, either way, I am still slightly terrified of him.
Bluebeard - What is your weak point? Chocolate cake. That counts, right? So there are some random insights into my life based on beloved children's stories...and some stories that I've never heard of in my life. Now all I can think about is chocolate cake so I'm probably going to have to buy some. Seriously, I'll never be fairest of them all if I'm popping out of my jeans.
Let's make the most of the fact that for first time in a week I can get internet in my room and write a blog post. Yesterday my housemate Jess, the blogger behind Mismatched Knitwear, tagged me to do the Liebster Award. I have no idea who or what Liebster is, but these are the rules...
1. Include a link to the blog that tagged you.
2. Share 11 facts about yourself (11 seems like an odd number, but I'll roll with it)
3. Answer 10 questions put to you by the person who tagged you
4. Make up 10 new questions and tag some more bloggers to answer them.
Confused? I am...
11 Facts About Me
1.I have a crippling fear of cows. I don't know whether is the slow, lumbering way they move or the evil that is clearly lurking in their eyes, I am just terrified. Once, when I was younger, I was on a walk with my father when I noticed a cow lurking in the bushes. I screamed and fled and have never walked down that path again. To this day my father insists that the cow was just standing there, but clearly it was up to something malicious. 2. I am left handed. Let's just put that one out there now because I'm sick of people I've known for years randomly shrieking one day, "You're left handed? Since when?" Since birth. Let's all accept it and move on. 3. When I was born I was a jaundice baby. For those of you who don't know, jaundice is a pretty common condition in newborns that turns your baby an attractive yellow colour. The doctor told my mother to make sure I got plenty of sunlight to make it disappear faster. When I was a few days old my Nanna dropped by to check up on us, only to find my mother had left me out in the garden to bake in the noonday September sun in some kind of attempt to cook the jaundice out of me. My Nanna quickly pointed out that this was probably not what the doctor had had in mind. 4.My favourite food is Dominos. I know my dad is right when he says it tastes like cardboard, but I just can't get enough! 5. Most nights I dream about Disney World. I don't particularly spend a lot of time thinking about Disney World when I'm awake, but it somehow always manages to find a way to creep into my dreams. Usually I'm rushing to see the parade or meet Belle and recently my dream-self has spent a lot of time trying to get onto It's A Small World, which, for some reason, has an entryway so small you have to crawl through it. If any medical professionals would like to offer an opinion on what on earth is going on in my brain, please feel free. 6.I'm a godparent to both my niece and nephew. No one actually ever mentioned this to me and it was a bit of a shock when the vicar asked all the godparents to step forward. The first I knew of it was when my mother poked me in the back and hissed, "Move, that's you." 7. I don't like gravy. Go ahead and judge. 8. I love Halloween. Ever since I was little my dad made a big deal of it. It started out with him making a few creepy decorations and screwing in coloured bulbs. Eventually it got to the point where our entire house would be transformed, inside and out. One year complete strangers dropped by to take pictures of it (Halloween isn't a big deal in the UK like it is in the US...except in my house). Some of my best memories are of Halloween and now that I'm a grown up it's my job to scare Ellis and Lauren. 9. My eyes are so big that my eyelids don't cover them when I blink. I need eyedrops. Yes, I'm a freak. 10. I am pretty much always cold. There are not enough layers in the world to get me through winter in my student house and, when I'm at home, I have to put the heating on full and curl up next to the radiator while everyone else slowly melts. 11. I organise my wardrobe by colour and I am in no way ashamed of this.
Jess' Questions
1. Where did the name for your blog come from?
I don't particularly like the name of my blog. It just kind of happened. I wanted to start writing about all the random stuff that was going on in my brain and didn't have the patience to sit and think about the fundamentals of the blog itself. 2. What was the last thing you ate?
Bran Flakes. Is there a more boring food? 3. What is the weirdest thing someone has searched for to find your blog?
I always hear these great stories about the weird and wonderful keywords that can lead to your blog. Unfortunately, the only thing anyone has ever searched to find me is twentyoddball. 4.What is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?
I'm judging myself right now, but the first thing I do is look at my phone to see if the Beacon has text me. Loser! 5. What was the last GOOD film that you watched?
I watch a lot of bad films. The other day Kirsty and I watched Boogeyman 3. I can't imagine how Boogeyman 1 and 2 proved so popular that it was necessary to make a third, but it does exist. The last good film I watched was Frozen. I loved that, Tangled, and the Princess and the Frog. Finally Disney are making good films again! 6. What was you New Year's resolution? Have you stuck to it so far?
My resolution this year was a bit of a tricky one. Basically it was to get my life together. Get more organised, spend less time in bed, get fit and healthy, stop wasting so much money and so on. I've definitely improved in some areas, but it's an ongoing process. That's how I can justify being in bed right now. 7. What is the 'go-to' song on your Ipod?
Oh Jess, why would you ask this? Generally speaking, I refuse to let my Ipod embarrass me. I fully admit that my music tastes are...individual and varied. I'm aware that the amount of Britney Spears is probably disturbing for some people and the lack of house music or whatever annoying noise my housemates listen to probably makes me very uncool.
But I am ashamed to admit that recently my go-to song has been my 4 year old niece's favourite, LOL by Isabella Barrett and Eden Wood. I need to link the video so you can see why it grieves me, but be warned. It will be stuck in your head forever.
8. If you could pass 1 law right now, what would it be?
Twentyoddball is not the place we go to to talk politics so I'm not going to give this much serious thought. I do think they should ban airbrushing because if you've seen that weird gif that's going around the internet of a model being 'touched up' you'll know how freaky it all is.
9. What is your proudest achievement?
Tough question! Probably winning a Blue Peter badge. My dad used to tell me that when he was little he'd always wanted one. I didn't tell anyone I was submitting anything and when I won and they sent me the badge I felt so proud that I could give it to my dad and he could finally have his own. He still has it framed in his bedroom. 10. Tell us an embarrassing story.
My life is just a series of embarrassing stories! Where to even begin?
When I was in my first year of uni I lived at the bottom of Cardiac Hill, which, if you can imagine, if even worse than it sounds. One day I had a 9am seminar (boo!) and I hadn't felt too great when I first got up. But I ate some breakfast, packed my bag, and made my way up the hill. Then I got to the top...and collapsed. No one seemed particularly bothered about my being sprawled on the grass with by head in my bag, but I did get a few funny looks when I came to and had to lay on the floor for 15 minutes before I could walk back home. I did not enjoy that.
Ok, so now I have to tag some bloggers to answer some questions of my choosing (all of which will probably be totally bizarre).
So Bethan Jane and Ashleigh, it's all on you.
1. What's at the top of your wishlist right now?
2. What was your most ridiculous hairstyle?
3. What would be your plan of action in a zombie apocalypse?
4. What's your signature dish?
5. What was the most random thing that happened in 2013?
6. Do you still sleep with a teddy? (I won't deny that I am guilty of this)
7. If you had to be a Muppet, which Muppet would you be?
8. What has been your best ever bargain?
9. What is your weird food addiction?
10. What is the worst item of clothing/outfit you own?
So there we are Liebster, whoever you are. I hope that's done to your satisfaction.
Hi! I'm Aimee. I'm a blogger, Youtuber and full-time loon. I may be stumbling through life with no clue which direction I'm heading in, but at least I'm wearing good shoes.
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