I Lost my V Fest V-Plates (and even used the porta-loos)

You know me, I'm never on time for anything in my life. So who here is really surprised that I'm blogging about V Fest an entire two weeks after it happened? To be fair, I've moved countries and started in a new job in that time so I'm sure you'll cut me a little slack. But I had to write this post, regardless of how late to party I am, because V Fest was quite simply the most unexpected fun I've ever had.

I'm not what you'd call a lover of the great outdoors.

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining and Mine's Blogging.

As many of you may (or may not) know, I'm currently doing my Post Graduate Certificate in Education. In other words I'm training to be a teacher and doing masters level work side by side and therefore have no time, no life and basically spend my evenings planning lessons and crying into a tub of ice cream.

When people said the PGCE year would be the most stressful year of my life they were spot on!

Unfortunately, things recently took on a whole new stress factor when I was told by the placement school I'm currently training in that I needed to delete my Youtube channel. It was as if someone had asked me to give away my dog. Not that I have a dog. But, you know, I can imagine.

Last weekend I tearfully set three year's worth of videos to private. The positive is I can reactivate everything in 10 weeks time when I finish the course. The negative is I'm pretty sure they're going to be the longest ten weeks of my life! So far it's only been three days and I'm already having withdrawal symptoms. It's only a matter of time before I start narrating my makeup application in the morning when I'm alone in my room.

The good news is I can spend the next 10 weeks showering my blog with the love and attention it deserves. Ever since I graduated from university and entered the world of work, my poor little blog has taken a back seat. After all, after a hard day filled with rush hour traffic, mountainous workloads that will never be conquered and computer screen induced headaches, it's a lot easier to plonk down in front of a camera and ramble on incessantly than it is to try and put together a witty and coherent blog post. Most days, by the time 4pm hits I can rarely put together a logical sentence.

But suddenly I have a bunch of unexpected free time on my hands (you know, if you ignore the 8,000 word essay I have due) so it's the perfect opportunity to show my poor little neglected blog a little bit of love. You know what they say: every cloud has a silver lining!

So I'm going to get over the writer's block and get back into the swing of things. I'm a little rusty and a little short of jet-setting adventures to write about since I graduated, but I'm excited to catch the blogging bug all over again!

I'm a Crazy Bird Lady!

I decided 2017 is going to be the year when I cut down on time-draining activities and get out there and do things the make me happy instead. How many hours did I lose to social media, re-runs of Friends and general procrastination in 2016? A half hour of vegging out in my pjs here, 20 minutes of browsing Pinterest for nothing in particular there...it all adds up!

When 2017 hit, I deleted my Facebook app. Instead of sitting through every soap opera my mother insists on putting on the TV in the evening, resisting the urge to gouge out my own eyes, I've started using that time to get into a good book. Time that would have been spent scrolling through websites, building imaginary shopping carts of clothes I know I'll never actually buy is now spent heading out for a walk.

I'm spending my time on the things that make me happy and recently I realised that one of those things is birds.

My 2016: I Got Old, Made some Bizarre Life Choices and Drank Tequila.

Congratulations world! We made it through the madness that was 2016! We survived a year in which Britain left the EU, Harambe the gorilla was killed in cold blood, and Donald Trump was voted president of the United States. It all kind of feels like a bad (and totally ridiculous) dream, doesn't it?

While 2016 might not have been the best year for the world as a whole, on a personal level I had a pretty good year. So, as is traditional, I'm going to sum up my entire year in a nice bite-sized blog post for you!

The Lust List: November 2016

We're well and truly into November. I can tell because I have to wear four layers of clothing to bed every night. So...it's time to start talking about Christmas now, right? I mean, I usually like to keep Christmas strictly confined to December, but this year I can't help feeling the first tingles of the Christmas spirit already (I blame John Lewis and their festive-packed winter wonderland). That said, my lust list has a bit of a Christmas theme...you know, just a bit!

Magic Wand Bubble Bar - Lush £5.95

My passion for Lush bubble bars is well documented. The are my favourite bath-time treat! But the Magic Wand bubble bar? That's an entirely new level of fabulousness my friends! It's pink, it's sparkly, it smells divine, and how often do you get to add some Bibbiti Bobbiti Boo to your bath-time?

It's part of the limited edition Lush Christmas collection and I for one have already added it to my Christmas list.

Monthly Musings: October 2016

October is my favourite month and I always get a little sad when it comes to an end, but this October has been particularly wonderful. For a start, the weather has been beautiful! Usually here in South Wales it starts raining at the beginning of September and doesn't stop until June, but the last few weeks have been dry, still and unseasonably warm. It's such a lovely change to hear the crisp crunch of autumn leaves underfoot as opposed to having to wade through a slimy, wet mulch. Eww.

And this year we had a Halloween party! Halloween is favourite time of year (I may have mentioned that before, just once or twice) and this month was cram-packed with all things Halloween. Making new decorations, baking Halloween cupcakes, putting together a costume, and, of course, watching Hocus Pocus.

I'm really sad to see the back of such a fun month.

Magical Moment

It goes without saying that the magical moment of this month was our Halloween party. It was fantastic! We had a creepy scarecrow and a graveyard and our bathroom was so terrifying that people were too afraid to go upstairs alone (I include myself in that). It was the best night I've had in a long time!

Monthly Musings: September

What a month! I climbed a mountain in torrential rain, started university and reached the ripe old age of 25. I bought my first ever pair of 'sensible shoes' and even set myself a budget. I know, I know, who am I and what have I done with the real Aimee?

And now summer (or the weird rainy haze we in the UK are forced to refer to as summer) is suddenly over and we're into Autumn. That happened really fast, right? But here's a recap of my September and all the weird and wonderful things I got up to.

Magical Moment

This month I turned (gasp!) 25! How terrifying is that? I'm officially closer to 30 than I am to 20 now. Eww.
In the weeks leading up to my birthday my quarter life crisis went into overdrive. I was plagued by Facebook photos from people I went to school with, smiling into the camera with their babies/engagement rings/houses. They all seemed to have "I have a pension plan" written all over their faces. When did everyone become so grown up?
But, loathed as I was to face up to being another year older, I really enjoyed my birthday. For the first time in my life I didn't have a party. Instead my niece and nephew descended and we stuffed our faces with pizza and Disney princess birthday cake (because I'll never be a real grown up) and watched Top Gear (because even on my birthday, I still don't get control of the TV). It was low-key and chilled, but it was lovely.

#FAIL of the Month

Either my house is haunted and some kind of mischievous spirit is taunting with me or I'm losing my mind. Either way, I'd call it a fail.

Monthly Musings: August 2016

To be entirely honest, I'm not really sure where August began and where it ended. Was I even there? To be fair, it's really hard to keep track of time when you're not in work or school. I very rarely know what day it is anymore. Roll on the start of my first semester back at uni!

But, for all that, it's been a pretty good month. My baby niece turned seven (seven!) and, partly because I want to be the coolest aunt ever and partly to wind up my brother, I bought her a six foot unicorn. I finally renewed my gym membership and went for a swim for the first time in about 10 years (I felt as if I was going to drown after a mere two laps, but, hey, I'll get there eventually). The sun finally came out a couple of times and it was even warm enough for a dip in the sea!

So all in all August has been an excellent end to my summer!

Magical Moment

Here's a picture of my touching a cow. A cow! I've been terrified of cows for most of my life. Nobody (including myself) understands why. It's not like I endured any bizarre cattle-related trauma as a small child of anything, but, whatever the reason, even the knowledge that there could be a cow somewhere within a three mile radius was always enough to send me into hysterics.
I knew I had to deal with this fear. After all, it's not acceptable to turn 25 and still have a crippling fear of lumbering herbivorous farm animals.

So, when my friend Beth and I went to a local country park and came across a miniature farm, I repressed my initial instinct to flee, arms flailing at the mere thought that there could be cows lurking nearby. In fact I looked them square in the face, sidled up to their enclosure and touched one (after a great deal of hyperventilating and crying).

Monthly Musings: July

Look everyone! Monthly Musings are making a comeback and, whats more, they've had a bit of a revamp! Please contain your 'oohs' and 'aahs' as far as possible.

July has, for the most part, been a bit of a strain on my poor, fragile nerves because my parents decided to pull apart the kitchen and fit an entirely new one. In fairness, it was crying out for a makeover. Those counters were here when we moved in 14 years ago and they weren't even fashionable then (nor, if you ask me, were they ever).

But, as excited as I was at the promise of an oven that wouldn't burn all my cakes and a Tassimo machine for a never-ending supply of vanilla lattes available in the comfort of my own home, the dusk til dawn drilling, the dust, having to wash all the dishes in the bath and living off extremely questionable microwavable sausages and powdered soups eventually took its toll!

The main thing is I survived! And, beige diet and general kitchen drama aside, July has been a pretty good month!

Magical Moment

At 24 years old I'm still a festival novice. The mud, lack of running water and the whole sleeping on the floor thing really put me off. But this month I donned my wellies and obnoxiously large flower headband and attended the extremely exclusive Wellifest. Never seen it advertised in the Rolling Stones magazine? That's because it's a festival that my (extremely creative and slightly bonkers) cousin, Elinor, throws in her back garden every year. We had bands, we had hay bales, we had pulled pork, we even had an impromptu dance floor! And, amazingly, it didn't even rain...until everyone was a few cans of cider too many to notice.

I had such an amazing afternoon and took so well to the boho-chic festival style that I might even go to an actual festival next summer. You know, if I can get over my aversion to porta-loos by then.

#FAIL of the Month

The sheer amount of straw I managed to get in my Jack Daniels during Wellifest. I mean...how?!

This month I'm obsessed with...

Crips that aren't really crisps.

Since the kitchen has been off limits, I've been pretty much living on snack food (or at least that's my excuse). So imagine my delight when I came across a delicious alternative to crisps that I could exclaim, through a mouth full of crumbs, were in fact pretty good for me...well, better than ordinary crisps at least. This month I discovered a brand called Eat Real, which produces all kind of gluten free, vegetarian and vegan friendly crisps made from lentils, hummus, quinoa and veggies. My personal favourites are the Sour Cream and Chive Quinoa Chips. Nom!

Photo|EatReal.co.uk

If you're reading this and thinking, "quinoa crisps...really?!" then to you I say, "Yes! Really!"
They taste delicious, satisfy my midday cravings and have the same satisfying crunch as those deep-fried potato crisps without the guilt.

Book

This month I've been reading *The Count of Monte Cristo and, to be entirely honest, I think I'll still be reading The Count of Monte Cristo for a good few months to come. It's a impressive 1300 pages long, but don't let that fool you into thinking it's some kind of meandering Victorian novel that spends the first 500 pages setting the scene by describing the colour of the grass and the noise of the birds (though, in all honesty, I do enjoy those kinds of books too). It jumps pretty much straight into the action and it's fast pace, intriguing characters and the unexpected twists and turns of the plot have got me totally hooked.

Photo|BarnesandNoble.com

In case you're unfamiliar with the story, a young sailor named Dantes is accused of treason by his jealous acquaintances and is imprisoned for 21 years before he escapes and vows revenge on the men he thought were his friends. I'm only a third of the way through and I'm struggling to put it down!

Youtube Channel

 LeahXO

This month I was lucky enough to be part of a collaboration with a group of small Youtubers. I thoroughly enjoyed it since, not only was it a great way to find some new channels to binge-watch, but I got to meet some lovely new Youtube friends too!

So this month's Youtuber of the month simply has to be the lovely lady who organised the collaboration and got us all together. Leah's channel is all things makeup and beauty related. She has a really sweet personality and a Northern accent that makes me want to listen to her talk all day long. Is it just me or is listening to a Northern accent like cuddling up under a nice, warm blanket somehow? No? Just me? Ok.

Photo of the Month

Here's me living the life of a real-life fairy princess at Welliefest. I AM the Snapchat filter!

Instagram: @aimee_oddball

The soundtrack of my month was...

Miranda Lambert - Gunpowder and Lead

Not that I personally want to go out and shoot anyone (though there were a couple of times during traffic jams...). But there's nothing quite like a good old sassy country song to turn up nice and loud on a summer afternoon.

This month I discovered...

There are only 880 wild Mountain Gorillas left...in the whole world!

Photo|WWF.org

I've been on a bit of a Netflix documentary binge recently (there's only so much time you can waste re-watching That 70s Show after all) and last week I came across Virunga. It's a 2014 documentary film about the work of conservation workers in Virunga National Park, a 7,800 square kilometre World Heritage site in the Congo, which is home to lions, elephants, hippos (basically the entire cast of The Lion King) and 25% of the remaining Mountain Gorillas.

You see the gorillas, how adorable they are, how the conservation workers dote on them and literally give up their lives for them and you begin to think, "Well surely no one's so thoroughly evil to the core that they'd consider hurting these poor, beautiful little balls of fluff."

Cue the arrival of the British! (There's a reason all movie bad-guys have British accents.)

A company called SOCO International barges in and starts exploring for oil (which is totally against international law). Throw in a rebel army, some tanks, a French journalist and a member of the Belgian Royal Family who is prepared to lay down his life to protect the park and you've got yourself one heck of a documentary. It will have you screaming at the TV and despairing at the greed and selfishness of the human race (even more-so than you do when you're fighting your way through the January sales).

Definitely go and check it out!

(Affiliate links marked with *)

I'm Back (And in Desperate Need of a Latte)!

I'm back! I've crawled out from the corporate rock I've been stuck under for the past few months. I've thrown off the shackles of business meetings, conference calls and tossing and turning in a pool of sweat at 3am wondering if my new shoes for the office strike the right balance between 'I'm a corporate highflier' and 'I'm a Margaret Thatcher look-alike'. I'm slowly weaning myself off the 5 gallons of caffeine a day it took me to get through my working day without falling asleep at the wheel (sure, there's still a lot of twitching going on, but slow progress is better than no progress).

 I'm finally starting to feel like myself again!

 It's been a while since I last sat down to write a blog post so I apologise if I'm rusty. It's not that I purposely discarded my beloved blog or forgot about all you wonderful people who enjoy a little dose of my madness every week. The truth is, I was so swamped at work that, slowly but surely, without me even realising it, my blog ended up in in the pile labelled 'things I used to do when I had the time'. It was a hefty pile. Yoga was in there too along with reading, going to the gym, spending time with my fiends and, increasingly, eating meals and sleeping.

 There weren't nearly enough hours in the day!

 

So, I took the plunge (for better or for worse), discarded my 'sensible' boring, black, low-heeled shoes, and quit my high-flying, corporate job. As tempting as the image of myself as a fancy business woman with a bank account healthy enough to justify a closet full of Laboutins was, at the end of the day, I'm not a fancy business woman. I hate graphs. And schmoozing. So in September I'm heading back to university to train as an English teacher. Because what could be better than talking about books for a living? Except, of course, talking about books for a living and getting paid enough to justify a closet full of Laboutins.

 But, hey, you can't have it all!

Monthly Musings: November

And another month bites the dust.

Does anyone else feel like November was a bit of a 'meh' month? For one I can't remember the last time I saw so much as a streak of blue in the sky. Here in South Wales it has rained pretty much constantly since 4th November with brief intervals of gale force winds. I kid you not, I attempted to carry a large cardboard box from my storage lock-up to my car earlier today and I genuinely thought I was about to be swept off my feet like some kind of bedraggled, frizzy-haired Mary Poppins.

Here's me, hiding from the rain and praying for coffee

Maybe it was the murky weather or maybe it was the dull interlude between Halloween and Christmas, but my November was a bit grey all round. In fact, what even happened this month? Surely I must have been present for at least part of it!

Obsession of the month...

It's been a good while since I've had the time to sit down and binge-watch a TV show like I did back in my carefree uni days. But one day last month I was ill and suddenly found myself with an entire day to fill with nothing but lounging on the sofa under a duvet and catching up on my series links. It was glorious! You know, apart from the illness and whatnot.

Anyway, I finally got around to watching a show on Sky 1 called You, Me and the Apocalypse, which I quickly became totally obsessed with. 

It's about the oncoming end of the world (as you would imagine) and it follows various different characters from all over the place as they live out their final days. It's hilarious! The plot is totally off the wall and bizarre, but I am so hooked! There's just no way to guess what's going to happen next!

Now I just need to come down with the flu or something so I'll actually have the time to finish watching it... 

Accomplishment of the month...

I successfully applied winged eyeliner. Women everywhere will appreciate how huge this accomplishment is. 

Thing I am most ashamed of this month...

The shambles that was my Christmas shopping weekend. Don't get me wrong, it was a fabulous weekend. Roman Baths were visited, prosecco was guzzled, Big Rich Texas was binge-watched in the hotel room. But as far as actually making headway with my Christmas shopping goes...yeah, it was a total fail. I didn't buy a single gift. Unless you count gifts for myself...

Book of the month...

Do we really need to talk about it? Yes, I'm still reading *Middlemarch and yes I will still be reading it in 47 year's time.

Youtuber of the month...

Sarah Rae Vargas

This lady certainly does not need any additional promotion from little old me since she already has nearly 500,000 subscribers. And for good reason!

I've been subscribed to Sarah's channel for a while now and her videos are so different from anything else I've seen on Youtube. Her down to earth, no nonsense honesty is a breath of fresh air (and definitely leaning towards the risqué). She makes videos about body confidence, dealing with haters and sex alongside your standard hauls and outfit of the day videos. 

She also strikes me as the type of person who'd be great to go do tequila shots with.

Things ticked off the 2015 List...

Success! I actually accomplished something on the list this month!

26. Listen to classical music (in the vague hope that it will make me more cultured and stop my brain cells from fizzling out at such a high rate)

I had Radio 3 on in my car for an entire 4 days, which is a practically an eternity when you consider that I spend 4-6 hours of my work day driving. Listening to classical music definitely made me feel very cultured, but by day 5 I simply had to switch back to my beloved Radio 1. All the violins were starting to make me weirdly anxious. 

Next month I will aim to...

Soak up as much of the Christmas spirit as humanly possible...hopefully without inadvertently gaining 20lbs. Because, you know, Christmas chocolates...

Pssst! You can check out my favourite products of the month here:

(Affiliate links marked with *)

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Monthly Musings: October!

Hello everyone and welcome to November! Yes, I'm aware everyone else has been here for a while, but you know me. I'm never on time!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, October is my favourite month. I love the feeling of the crisp autumnal breeze and the crunching sound of fallen leaves beneath my feet. But most of all I love Halloween! The pumpkins, the black cats, the gruesome latex decapitated heads...good times!

I can't help feeling sad that October is over, but the one consolation is that it's time for Monthly Musings! Hooray!

Obsession of the month...

As I mentioned in my Halloween Goodies post, I have recently developed a huge (some might say ridiculous) obsession with scented candles. Up until this point I have always found the worldwide fascination with scented candles bizarre. I mean, realistically, you may as well just set fire to your money and sprinkle it with pot-pourri. Same basic principle.
But all of a sudden I find myself with some kind of scented candle shrine taking over half of my dressing table and I can't walk into Debenhams any more without sniffing all the candles in the home-wear department.

It's becoming a problem...

Accomplishment of the month...

Have I actually accomplished anything this month? Surely I must have done something within the last month that I can be proud of!
I mean, I would say I accomplished breaking in my new work shoes, but even that would be a lie because I got my mother to break them in for me.
I am really judging myself right now.

Thing I am most ashamed of this month...

The sheer amount of Milkybar Ghosts I ate. Repeat after me: Halloween is not an excuse to up your calorie intake by 4000%.

Book of the month...

You guessed it! I am still making my way through *Middlemarch! I've really been struggling to find time to sit down and read since I started my new job and, with another 500 odd pages left to go and my workload set to increase even more during the run-up to Christmas, I'm worried that I'll be reading this book for the rest of my life.

I am really starting to get into it though. I mean, I still have absolutely no idea where the plot is going (if anywhere), but I really feel for Dorothea and her disenchantment with grown up-life. I feel you girl!

Youtuber of the month...

grav3yardgirl

I was drawn to Bunny's channel this month because she is just as much of a Halloween nut as I am. I was lured in by the Halloween makeup tutorials and "Follow Me Around a Halloween Store" videos and then proceeded to binge-watch her channel for the rest of the month. She is totally mental...and I love it!

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

Absolutely nothing. I'm close though! All I need to do if finish Middlemarch and I can cross off "read 12 more books from the BBC Good Reads list". But the way that's going, I could be waiting a long time for that small victory.

Next month I will aim to...

Start eating more fruit and veg. Like...one a day or something...

Psst! You can check out my October Favourites here:

(Affiliate links marked with *)

Monthly Musings: September!

Do you ever have one of those months that just feels like a brick in the face? That was how September was for me. Don't get me wrong, it was a great month. My birthday is in September and I got a new job, I finally managed to catch up on Game of Thrones (although I have no idea what I'm meant to do with my life until the next season comes out!) and the weather was uncharacteristically pleasant.   

But boy was it intense! One minute it was the first week of the month and I was happily knocking back Jack Daniels and blowing out birthday candles and now all of a sudden it's October and I've somehow become a sleep-deprived business woman who can barely account for the last three weeks of her life. 

But, whether I can make sense of it or not, September is over and it's time for some monthly musings!

Obsession of the month...

This month I have been obsessively listening to Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor's new song, 'Marvin Gaye'. On repeat. Sometimes for hours on end. Of the 73 million views the video has had on Youtube, 10,000 or so of them are probably mine. Yes I'm aware that I could just download the song on Itunes, but that would be far too logical. That's simply not how I roll.

Accomplishment of the month...

This month my greatest accomplishment was getting myself a fancy new grown up job, which involves wearing blouses, pretending I know how to use an Ipad, and occasionally popping into London and getting utterly lost on the Tube. I never thought I'd end up in the corporate world (being more into rainbows and smiles than pie charts and firm handshakes) but I guess that's the beauty of my bizarre little life. There is absolutely no knowing where I'll end up next.

Thing I am most ashamed of this month...

As part of my fancy new job I got a fancy new company car. The low point of the month was definitely getting stuck outside Dominos Pizza for 15 minutes because I couldn't work out how to put the car into reverse. #epicfail

Book of the month...

The book I've been slowly but surely working my way through this month (and will no doubt be working my way through for a good few months to come) is Middlemarch by George Eliot. Now don't get me wrong, I love Victorian novels. I don't mind getting entangled in the enormous descriptive passages or trying to keep tabs on the seemingly never-ending cast of characters (yes, Dickens, that one was aimed at you). But so far Middelmarch hasn't really grabbed my attention and the next 636 are looking pretty daunting right now. Wish me luck.

Youtuber of the month...

I've been subscribed to Stepanka for a long time now, but for the last few weeks I've been binge-watching her videos like some kind of weird stalker. Maybe I find comfort in knowing there's someone out there who seems to end up in as many random and bizarre circumstances as I do. But if you enjoy my weird and wonderful annecdotes then you'll probably love her channel.

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

An accurate depiction of how I currently look/feel

This month I continued the theme of accomplishing absolutely nothing on The 2015 List. I'm nothing if not consistent after all.

Next month I will aim to...

Fit in some time to sleep! This month has been so hectic that the bags under my eyes have become a permanent feature, so deeply engrained that there's not enough concealer in the world to help me. Trust me, I've already gone through a whole bottle!

Swapping High Heels for Trainers: How the Ultimate Girlie Girl Survived Sports Camp.

Well, I've shaken off the jet lag, caught up on those two months worth of sleep, and the green tie-dye on my fingernails is finally starting to fade. A month ago I was a camp counsellor in Maine. I'm amazed at how quickly I got back into the monotony of the real world and began to feel as though it was all just some kind of hazy dream.

There's no excuse for abandoning you all for so long again without a post. True, my first four days back on UK soil were dedicated purely to sleeping with short intervals of napping (and a brief pause for pizza on the fourth day), but since then I've had ample opportunity to sit down with my laptop a write about my experiences in the USA. The only thing that's been stopping me is...well, where do I even begin? How do I organise two months worth of memories (99% of which now seem totally bizarre when I look back on them) into a blog post?

Well, I'm going to give it my best shot.

For those of you who don't already know, my agency paired me with an all boys' sports camp. Yes, yours truly, collector of high heels and avid lip-gloss enthusiast, was went to work in an all boys' sports camp. Have I ever given any indication to anyone that I am good at or have any interest in sports? (Aside from cheerleading, of course, but come on! Half the fun of that is the sparkly bows!)

No, I don't do sports.

But all the same I ended up in an all boys' sports camp with only three other girls to keep me sane company. Naturally everyone else there was a sports enthusiast. It didn't take long before I was exposed as the freak who couldn't so much as kick a ball.

At some point during the first few days of orientation, we were sent to meet the basketball coach for a talk. Alarm bells started ringing as soon as I realised the 'talk' was taking place in the basketball gym. By the time we got to the gym and the coach told us all the line up at the edge of the court, I had by-passed panic and had simply resigned myself to the fact that humiliation was imminent.

"Ok, I want you all to sprint up to the free-throw line and back."

Wait! What? Why are you making me run? I didn't know this job would involve compulsory sprints! I don't run. I fall!

But, above all that, was another concern. I put up my hand.
"Ok, it's just...which one is....I don't know...which line is that exactly?"
The coach looked at me like I was a Martian (which was actually pretty accurate in this instance) and said, "You do know you're in sports camp, right?"
"Yes."
As if I could forget!
"Wait, which sport are you coaching?"
"...Arts and crafts."
And just like that my secret was out. But at least from that moment on we were all on the same page. Don't ask me any sport-related questions. Don't throw any balls my way. Don't expect me to care about the difference between Michael Jordan and Lebron James.

That's not to say I managed to avoid sports for the rest of the summer. After all, it was a sports camp!

There was the afternoon I was scheduled to coach tennis. I'm not entirely sure why, when there were two professional tennis coaches, they had to bring in the arts and crafts director who hadn't so much as picked up a racquet in over ten years. I quickly got demoted from teacher to student...and was by far the worst student on the court. It's very demoralising when the nine-year-olds you're meant to be teaching are significantly better than you.  

Then there were football games I was asked to referee ("I'm sorry, I have no idea what the offside rule is so you'll probably need to find someone else"), stray balls I was asked to throw back to their owners, the afternoon the ice rink was opened up for free-skate. As much as I tried, there really was no way around it. I had managed to avoid sports for the first 23 years of my life, but suddenly there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

All I could do was try my best and hope I didn't get hit in the head with a ball.

And maybe all that compulsory sport did me some good after all. I mean, by the end of the summer I could actually catch a ball and, for the first time in my life, I could do a respectable push-up! 

But even so, I think I'm going to be taking a break from sports for a while. You know, like the next 30 to 40 years.

I've Returned with my Sanity (ish): My Summer at an All Boys Sports Camp

Well, what a long, bizarre two months those were! I successfully survived a summer working at an all boys sports camp in the USA, although my opinion of cheese has been dramatically altered forever and it may be some time before I can look at a football without being reduced to random outbreaks of twitching and tears. In fact, I may have reached my quota for all things sports related for the next thirty five years. 

I had every intention of keeping my blog at least somewhat up to date while I was out there. I lugged my out-of-date, 5 tonne laptop all the way to Maine with the best of intentions, honestly. I just didn't have the time. I mean, how is it even possible to be awake for so many hours and still have so few minutes free?

One night I did find myself with a little bit of extra free time and, being the dedicated blogger I am, I opted to attempt writing up a post through my haze of utter exhaustion instead of collapsing on my bed to indulge in some American Netlfix.

And this is what I wrote...

Hey y'all! Apologies for abandoning you for over a month without much more than a few half-hearted snaps on Instagram, but when you're a camp counsellor time is like gold dust. I work anywhere from 12 to 17 hours a day and, during my one break, I face the daily struggle of trying to decide whether my highest priority is showering or napping. I never thought I'd consider shaving my legs to be a luxury, but now that point is long since passed.

And yet, even though the days are seemingly never ending, even though the bags under my eyes have gotten so bad I'm concerned they may be permanently engrained on my face from this day forward, and even though I've been reduced to wearing my hair in plaits and cutting eyeliner out of my life completely, I really am enjoying myself.

I arrived in the USA on June 21st after a 4 hour car ride, a punctured tire, a 7 hour flight and a 90 minute wait at border patrol. I was welcomed into the country by a grumpy Bostonian at border patrol who sounded eerily like an angry version of Buddy Valastro from Cake Boss. Thus my American adventure began.

What do I even begin to say about camp?

This job ranks very highly on the list of most bizarre things I've ever done and, let me tell you, that says a great deal. At least five times a day I look around and find myself thinking, 'is this just a long, drawn out, extremely bizarre dream?' Of course, it could just be that I'm so sleep deprived by this point that my brain is actually starting to melt out through my ears, but...

And that's as far as I got before I literally passed out on my keyboard. I am not exaggerating when I say I was like the living dead. Most days I survived solely on questionable coffee and sheer willpower.

But, despite the long hours, sleep deprivation, being forced to watch more sports in seven weeks than I'd planned on watching in my entire life, and constantly finding glue in my hair, it was fun. I made some good friends and I have some amazing memories. Yes, there was also plenty of humiliation scattered throughout, but, for this post at least, let's skim over that.

And now I'm back! I hope you didn't miss me too much!

Monthly Musings: May!

So I guess another month has come and gone and, all of a sudden, here we are in June with my trip to the USA less than two weeks away. I'm not entirely sure whether the last few weeks have flown by or whether they've crept forward at a frustratingly sluggish pace, but there's one thing I am certain of. My to do list never seems to get any shorter. 

So, with my next adventure just around the corner and the month of June well and truly upon us, it's time for what might be my last monthly musing until I get back in three month's time...

Obsession of the month...

My current obsession continues to be Game of Thrones. I'm sorry, but I'm still totally addicted to it. I'm halfway through the third season and, as I lie awake in bed at night, I'm plagued with the troubling thought that I might not manage to get through all of the episodes before I leave for the USA. True, I should probably be more concerned about the fact that I still don't have travel insurance, but the thought of spending the next three months in suspense, knowing there's a whole other season out there I have yet to watch...it's just too much! 

(Those of you who follow me on Instagram may have seen my ambitious attempt at Daenerys Targaryen hair. Oh how I wish I was as cool as she is!)

Accomplishment of the month...

This month I attended my last cheer competition of the season, Cheer Sport Wales in Newport. And would you believe it? We came second! Yes out opening stunt went a bit...wonky and yes the timing was off in the pyramid, but we came second! Not bad for a team who came dead last at the start of the season. In fact, not bad for any team!

Low point of the month...

Looking at my bank account after paying off the remainder of my trip. Ouch!

Book of the month...

The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins 

I'm a sucker for a nineteenth century novel and this one has the added allure of a gripping plot, twists and turns galore and so much suspense I found myself huddled under the duvet until 3am most nights, promising myself I'd go to sleep "after just a few pages more". The book is written from the perspective of various characters, jumping back and forth between them to unravel the mystery of the Woman in White, who, as you may be able to guess, is a creepy enigma...dressed in white. Expect the unexpected! 

Youtuber of the month...

Stepanka

As well as your typical hair and beauty type videos, Stepanka uploads a lot of videos where she pretty much just talks at the camera about whatever's on her mind. Be it about her relationships, her dog, her boobs, she doesn't really have a filter and that's something I really enjoy in a Youtuber. I mean, hello! Have you seen my channel? Not even I know what I'm talking about most of the time! 

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

31. Go on a trip by myself

Ok, so technically when I came up with this one I was thinking of a holiday or even a night away, but, seeing as the 2015 list has been an epic fail so far, I feel like I can cheat a little and count the day trip I took to Manchester. 

I had to attend a summer camp orientation day in Manchester at the start of the month and, when the orientation ended three hours early and I was stranded, unable to catch my train until after 6pm, I took a little look around the city. I'll be honest, it was nothing like I expected. The picture I had in my head was somewhere between a scene from the Industrial Revolution with huge chimneys pouring out a thick black smog, and Coronation Street. In reality Manchester was one of the most beautiful cities I've visited and the people were extremely friendly and helpful (which was great because I got lost...a lot). 

Next month I will aim to...

Be the best summer camp counsellor in history! Or, at the very least, not have the kids think I'm a complete and utter loser. 

A Trip to London Part 2: Scary Horse Statues, Men with Guns and the Artful Dodger.

In my last post I told you all about the seemingly endless process of applying for my J-1 Visa. The paperwork, the bizarre questions, the ordeal of finding the US Embassy for my interview and, of course, the queues, queues as far as the eye could see!

But, once my interview was over and done with and I'd bravely made my way back through the gates of the Embassy, past the guards with giant guns ("you'd better get used to guns if you're going to America. I've seen the ID channel. Guns everywhere!" as my mother helpfully added), my mother and I had the rest of the day to spend wandering around London. And here's how that panned out...

I wanted to go to the Dickens Museum. I mean, they have costumed tours and a gift shop. What's not to love? But my mother isn't a big fan of Dickens...or museums. She wanted to have a wander around Debenhams instead. In the end we compromised ended up in the Disney Store.

Needless to say I got in Cinderella's carriage

From there we went and had a quick nose around Selfridges. I'm not entirely sure my mother understood just how very out of place we were. She kept looking at me and asking if I'd seen anything I wanted to try on. When I told her I definitely couldn't afford anything in the shop she seemed to think that I was just being a bit of a miser until she spotted a dress she fancied and took a look at the price tag.
"I don't have my glasses on. What does that say? £19.50?"
"No...that's £1950."
We quickly vacated Selfridges after that.

At the start of the day it was a struggle to get my mother on the tube. Yes, it’s dank and scary and squashed full of people who shoulder you out of the way and push past you on the station. Yes, it smells and yes it is totally unnatural for human beings to be propelled from one end of the city to the other underneath the ground at hurtling speeds. But, for all its unhygienic and terrifying qualities, the tube really is the best way to get around.

And, once my mother got over her initial fear that we were all certainly going to die and saw how quickly we could hop on at one station and pop up somewhere entirely new, she really began to enjoy it. In fact, when we got home that night, she and my dad discussed the wonders of the tube in depth for half an hour or more. As if it was some kind of miraculous new invention.

Next ventured over to Camden Market on a whim. It was awesome! You could spend days wandering through the little stalls, peering at all the weird and wonderful curiosities on display. There were clothes, jewellery, ornaments, books, food, artwork…pretty much everything you can imagine, only quirkier and more bizarre. There were little winding alleyways, cobbled tunnels and shops that were tucked up and hidden out of the way, a barrage of different sights and sounds and a new smell every time we turned a corner (some good and some…not so good).

The Stables Market was my favourite (despite the fact that the horse statues made me very uneasy) because its nineteenth century stonework, worn floorboards and general hustle and bustle made it feel almost as though the Artful Dodger could pop up at any moment. I guess it was the next best thing to the Dickens museum.
  

Next we headed to Covent Garden. Yes, I know it’s one of the most famous places in London and yes I know it has a Chanel and a Burberry and it’s very fancy and all that, but I preferred the randomness and weirdly endearing griminess of Camden Market. Besides, I am in no way posh enough to go wandering around Dior so it’s just as well that I stick with the little stalls in Camden where a pair of earrings is £4. 

When the time came for us to get our train, neither of us were ready to head home, partly because we were having such a lovely time nosing around London and partly because we had foolishly left it until rush hour to catch the tube. Commuters are hostile at the best of times, but in the city centre at 5:30pm a tourist could potentially lose a limb.

Spending the day in London made us realise that we really don’t take advantage of the interesting places we have on our doorstep. Here I am jetting off to explore America and I still haven’t even begun to explore to UK. So I’m going to make an effort to travel more within the country. Top of the list? The Dickens Museum!

A Trip to London Part 1: I Take on the US Embassy

In the midst of my stress-ridden daily routine of filling in online paperwork, making my endless way through lists that never seem to get any shorter, staring into my wardrobe for hours on end without ever coming to any kind of conclusion on what needs to be stuffed into the case that I have yet to purchase, and countless other anxiety-inducing preparations for my trip next month, let me tell you about my trip to the US Embassy in London.

Perhaps it will distract me from the cruel blow of waking up this morning to find we were out of Nutella.

In a world where tourists need to be screened by the DHS before they can hop on a plane to Disneyworld, it probably goes without saying that I needed a visa for my trip to the USA next month. Applying for a J-1 visa was (in my case at least) a long, convoluted and slightly terrifying experience. It involved excessive amounts of paperwork, bizarre security questions (“Are you planning on entering the country to become a prostitute?” “Are you a drug smuggler?” “Do you plan on becoming a drug smuggler in the near future?” and so on), an array of important reference numbers, passwords and memorable information (all of which seemed to disappear as soon as I needed them) and, of course, a hugely unflattering visa photograph that makes me look like I actually could be a prostitute and/or drug smuggler. And, when all of that was done, I still had to head up to London for a face to face interview.

Naturally my mother wouldn't hear of her fully-grown adult daughter heading into the city alone so she tagged along too.

Our first issue was trying to find the embassy. As if I wasn't already hampered enough by my non-existent sense of direction and complete inability to read street maps, my phone died as soon as we stepped off the tube so Google wasn't around to save us. As it happens, there’s a big square where all the embassies are and, once we found the square, it was simply a case of working out which one was the American embassy.

“Do you think they’ll have a flag outside?” My mother asked as we aimlessly wandered around the square.

“There’s a star spangled banner on the moon. I’m pretty sure there’ll be one outside the US embassy.”

Looking back, I’m still not entirely sure how it took so long to work out which one was the right building. The US embassy was about the size of four or five of the others, with an enormous eagle on top along with what was probably the most gigantic flag I've ever seen in my life. 

There was a lot of queueing involved to get into the embassy. Queueing to get my forms checked, queuing to have my bags searched, queueing to explain to the security guy that the suspicious electronic device in my bag was my rape alarm (“because a girl can’t be too careful”), queueing to get my fingerprints taken, and, finally, queueing for the actual interview.

The interview itself was actually the quickest part of the whole experience.

“What do you plan on doing in the USA?”

“I’m going to be teaching arts and crafts at a summer camp in Maine.”

“Ok. Well, I’m going to approve your visa!”

It was as simple as that.

Obviously it was a lot more upbeat and enjoyable because the interviewer was American and therefore wonderfully friendly and happy. In fact, I got so caught up in the moment that I told her to “have a nice day”. I hope she didn’t think I was being facetious…

And so trauma of my visa application was over (apart from the ordeal of trying to get hold of it a few weeks later when the embassy released it to a mystical courier service whose location is so well hidden it might as well be protected by a magic spell that makes it invisible to muggles. But that's a story for a different day). And so, with my appointment at the embassy behind me and a full day in London ahead of us, we set off to explore.

But first we had to deal with her crippling fear of the tube...

Please Prewarn Obama, I'm Going to the USA

Hand me my cowboy boots and a map to the Jack Daniel's distillery, I'm going to the USA! Yes, for those of you who missed the announcement in my latest Monthly Musings post, I've gone and gotten myself a job as a summer camp counsellor in New England. I also have 30 days of bonus travel time once camp is over so I can run wild in America, binging on Cap'n Crunch cereal and slowly working my way ever-closer to the South, which, as we all know, is the capital of big hair, hoop-skirts and whisky and therefore, my mother-ship.

In six worryingly short weeks I'll be heading out to camp with an ample supply of enthusiasm and excitement (and a suitcase stuffed with Disney princess t-shirts) to undertake my new role as...director of arts and crafts. Yes, it's my job to come up with all the arts and crafts projects, write up the itinerary, buy the supplies and to ensure that fabulous keepsakes are made, fun is had, and no one burns off their fingerprints using the glue-gun. No pressure.

I have to admit, when I was first contacted by the camp I was a little concerned. You see, it's an all boys sports camp. In fact there isn't a single female in any of their photos or videos...at all...anywhere. Naturally I was initially a little hesitant as a) I'm a girl and b) I am the least athletic person in the greater South Wales area. My friend, Beth, tried to be helpful by pointing out that with such a skewed male to female ratio at least there would be a good chance of me finding romance. I quickly pointed out that, while there will be an ample supply of testosterone, the vast majority of guys there will be aged 8-15. Not exactly marriage material.

But anxiety has melted away into excitement. After all, surely no one is going to expect me to be any good at catching a ball while I'm in the arts and crafts room...right?

When camp is over and I've had my fair share of s'mores and poster paint, I have a month of travelling ahead of me. I'm hoping to make some friends at camp to travel with (hopefully they'll have a better sense of direction than I do), but I do worry that no one will want to visit the bizarre places I plan on going to. I'm sure most people will want to go to New York and Washington D.C, but I'm looking more towards the witch museum in Salem and Bourbon Street in New Orleans. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

All I really know for sure is I'm jetting off to America next month and I still don't have a thing to wear!

To hear more about my upcoming American adventure you can watch my video on it!

Monthly Musings: Apirl

Do you ever feel like life is train, hurtling forward at a speed so obscenely fast that sometimes you feel like shouting, "Hey, can't we just pull over for a minute so I can pee?" 

Somehow April has come and gone before I even got out of the habit of writing March on all my paperwork. But, regardless of whether I'm prepared for the onset of May or not, here it comes. And, with the end of the month come my Monthly Musings. 

 Obsession of the month...

I know I am extremely late to the party on this one, but this month I started watching Game of Thrones. Why did this take so long?! Why did no one force me to sit down and watch this years ago? I mean, yes, my ex-boyfriend did try, and my housemates, and then my friends...and my brother. And I suppose it's true that my father has been demanding I watch it for at least the last 8 months, but, really, I feel like more could have been done. 

I am now trying to make up for lost time by binge-watching it every evening and have started silently cursing every episode of Coronation Street, Eastenders and various other soap opera-type rubbish that my mother insists on watching. Woman, you are eating into my Game of Thrones time and some of us are desperate to know what's going to happen to John Snow!  

Accomplishment of the month...

This month I got a job as a summer camp counsellor...in Maine! In just 7 short weeks I jet off to spend a summer toasting smores on a camp-fire, trying to come to terms with the fact that the letter 'u' will all but cease to exist, and slowly edging my way ever closer to the Jack Daniels distillery. This is the stuff that dreams are made of!

What's more, I've already Googled the bear population in the town I'll be based in and it seems very unlikely that I will be mauled to death (although back in 2012 a bear did attempt to steal a couple's hamburgers) so that's one less thing to worry about.

The moose population, however, is an entirely different matter...

Low point of the month...

Without a doubt the low point of my month was turning on Netflix and discovering that Greek had been removed. Why would Mr. Netflix do such a thing?! I had intentionally imposed a Greek ration to stop myself from burning through the entire series too quickly (à la Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Desperate Housewives, and, of course, Toddlers and Tiaras) and suddenly, not even midway through the series, it has been cruelly snatched away from me! Is it too much to want to know if Cappie and Casey will ever get back together or whether anyone will finally push Rebecca Logan off a high cliff?!

Book of the month...

Memoirs of a Geisha. I thoroughly enjoyed this book (which was a relief after trawling through last month's book)! It's beautifully written without being too dense or heavy-going, the plot is intriguing and unlike anything I've read before, and yes, it did make me cry! If you're on the lookout for your next read then I would definitely recommend this one! 

Youtuber of the month...

BuzzFeedYellow

I love ridiculous Buzzfeed articles so when I realised there were ridiculous Buzfeed videos...naturally I was all over that! From 'If Disney Princesses Texted their Princes' to 'If Girlfriends were Honest when Arguing', they have a video for pretty much every mood and I find them all hilarious. 

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

Another epic fail with regards to the 2015 List. There's no real excuse seeing as so many of the things on there can be done from the comfort of my own home with little to no effort (it's not as if watching When Harry Met Sally is going to be particularly taxing). But, once again, I've done absolutely nothing on the list. I'm a failure. I accept it. Let's move on.

Next month I will aim to...

Aside from finalising my travel plans, coming up with a three week arts and crafts itinerary for camp, and finding myself a suitcase big enough for all my junk, by the end of May I aim to have 500 subscribers on my Youtube channel. My original aim for the entire year was to reach 100 so I've already smashed that target. But 500? Are there really 500 people out there willing to listen to my rambling? 

We'll see I guess!