Monthly Musings: September!

Do you ever have one of those months that just feels like a brick in the face? That was how September was for me. Don't get me wrong, it was a great month. My birthday is in September and I got a new job, I finally managed to catch up on Game of Thrones (although I have no idea what I'm meant to do with my life until the next season comes out!) and the weather was uncharacteristically pleasant.   

But boy was it intense! One minute it was the first week of the month and I was happily knocking back Jack Daniels and blowing out birthday candles and now all of a sudden it's October and I've somehow become a sleep-deprived business woman who can barely account for the last three weeks of her life. 

But, whether I can make sense of it or not, September is over and it's time for some monthly musings!

Obsession of the month...

This month I have been obsessively listening to Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor's new song, 'Marvin Gaye'. On repeat. Sometimes for hours on end. Of the 73 million views the video has had on Youtube, 10,000 or so of them are probably mine. Yes I'm aware that I could just download the song on Itunes, but that would be far too logical. That's simply not how I roll.

Accomplishment of the month...

This month my greatest accomplishment was getting myself a fancy new grown up job, which involves wearing blouses, pretending I know how to use an Ipad, and occasionally popping into London and getting utterly lost on the Tube. I never thought I'd end up in the corporate world (being more into rainbows and smiles than pie charts and firm handshakes) but I guess that's the beauty of my bizarre little life. There is absolutely no knowing where I'll end up next.

Thing I am most ashamed of this month...

As part of my fancy new job I got a fancy new company car. The low point of the month was definitely getting stuck outside Dominos Pizza for 15 minutes because I couldn't work out how to put the car into reverse. #epicfail

Book of the month...

The book I've been slowly but surely working my way through this month (and will no doubt be working my way through for a good few months to come) is Middlemarch by George Eliot. Now don't get me wrong, I love Victorian novels. I don't mind getting entangled in the enormous descriptive passages or trying to keep tabs on the seemingly never-ending cast of characters (yes, Dickens, that one was aimed at you). But so far Middelmarch hasn't really grabbed my attention and the next 636 are looking pretty daunting right now. Wish me luck.

Youtuber of the month...

I've been subscribed to Stepanka for a long time now, but for the last few weeks I've been binge-watching her videos like some kind of weird stalker. Maybe I find comfort in knowing there's someone out there who seems to end up in as many random and bizarre circumstances as I do. But if you enjoy my weird and wonderful annecdotes then you'll probably love her channel.

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

An accurate depiction of how I currently look/feel

This month I continued the theme of accomplishing absolutely nothing on The 2015 List. I'm nothing if not consistent after all.

Next month I will aim to...

Fit in some time to sleep! This month has been so hectic that the bags under my eyes have become a permanent feature, so deeply engrained that there's not enough concealer in the world to help me. Trust me, I've already gone through a whole bottle!

6 PMS Struggles Every Woman will Understand

I once had a lecturer who was convinced that PMS was a social construct, derived from the necessity of some sort of biological 'evidence' that would corroborate with the myth that women are mentally inferior to men. Now, that's a nice theory and all, but I have 12 years worth of experience of mascara-stained tears and rage-induced door slamming to suggest that PMS is real. And a bit of a bitch. 

So, to distract me from my own monthly bout of emotional upheaval and pain, I thought I'd write up a list of ridiculous PMS struggles every woman will understand.

1. You've bloated to the size of a small house 
There's nothing like gaining 3lbs in the space of 2 days and ballooning to the size of the HMS Bounty to exacerbate an already emotionally challenging few days. Those cute new skinny jeans may have fit you on Monday, but now they're so tight there's a risk the button will shoot off and blind someone across the room from you. Just be grateful that someone invented sweat pants.

2. Your emotions are as unpredictable as the National Rail Service 
One minute you're sobbing over an episode of The One Show, the next you're overcome with a burning desire the jab someone's eyes out. You hate everyone and everything (except, obviously, Nutella) and if your period doesn't come soon there is a serious risk that the next person to push in front of you in the queue at the supermarket will meet with an untimely and gruesome end.

3. You're a blotchy, greasy mess
You woke up looking like some kind of partially evolved sub-species of human. You have spots on your chin so huge there's a risk that when they finally leave they might be legally entitled to take half of your belongings with them, and your entire head looks as though it has been dipped in a vat of oil. There is not enough makeup in the world to counter a serious case of pre-menstrual hideousness.

4. Your mental faculties have deserted you
You find yourself unable to retain the simplest of information, you put salt in your tea, moisturiser on your toothbrush, and find yourself spending a good 4 hours typing up a blog post about PMS which, on any other day, would have taken half an hour or less.

5. In the last 20 minutes you've consumed appropriately 6,000 calories
There is not enough raw cookie dough, melted cheese or white bread in the world to satisfy your random cravings and endless hunger. And if the PMS demands you eat and entire jar of Nutella, who are you to refuse?

6. You just...can't be bothered
Everything from brushing your hair to reaching over to grab the TV remote requires significantly more effort than you are willing to muster. All of life's unnecessary frivolities (work, cooked meals, looking presentable etc) go out the window in favour of donning your pjs and curling up in a cocoon of self-pity with 900g of chocolate and the entire Sex and the City boxset.

Monthly Musings: March!

Obsession of the month...

My obsession this month was a new TV programme on Netflix called Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It has all the components of what I would consider to be the perfect TV show. The humour is bizarre, random and totally genius, the theme tune is catchy, and you never know when one of the characters is going to randomly burst into song. It's fabulous on so many levels!

Unfortunately, I made that fatal Netflix error of watching the entire season over the course of two short days and now I'm stuck twiddling my thumbs until they upload the next one.

Accomplishment of the month...

This month my Youtube channel hit 100 subscribers! I'd call that a pretty awesome accomplishment. It's so exciting and I'm so grateful/amazed that people like my videos so much. And I've been getting so many lovely comments and messages from my subscribers too! 

If you are a subscriber then thank you! I really, really, really appreciate your support. And if you're not, what are you waiting for? Go subscribe and experience my rants and ramblings in an entirely new medium! (Plus there's a super awesome giveaway going on right now too!)

High point of the month...

I'm not even ashamed to say that one of the most memorable occurrences of the month was coming across a Milkybar Milk and Cookies chocolate bar. Just when I thought there wasn't anything more delicious in the world than Milkybar chocolate, they go and put little chunks of cookie in there! It was just...everything! 

Low point of the month...

Not being able to find said Milkybar Milk and Cookies chocolate bars anywhere since. I mean, in what kind of cruel world would I find something so perfect, just to have it snatched away from me? 

Book of the month...

I've spent the entire month trawling through Stephen King's 'The Stand' and I still have another 150 pages or so to go. Unless something truly monumental happens right at the end, I can't see it working its way into my top 10. Or top 20. It's a really great story, but it seems ridiculous that a plot that takes place over the course of a single summer needs to be over 1000 pages long. I mean, come on! Margaret Mitchell squeezed 16 years worth of plot into a novel shorter than this one!

Youtuber of the month...

Popgnome

This month I've been binge-watching videos by Kourtney and Jessica, AKA Popgnome. Their channel is a mixed bag with videos about everything from lipstick to DIY, food to dogs. You know I like my Youtbers down-to-Earth, fun, and interesting to watch and these girls tick all the boxes! 

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

I managed to tick just one more thing off the list this month (it's going painfully slowly).
32. Visit somewhere new
This month I took a trip to the Forest of Dean with my friend Beth, her boyfriend, and a whole lot of his friends. Yes, I know I'm a party-crasher, but who can blame me? After all, a weekend away is a weekend away!
We stayed in little cabins surrounded by trees and mud and (so I'm told) all kind of animals. Personally it's the closest to camping I ever want to get. And imagine my surprise when I realised that the Forest of Dean is actually nowhere near the Lake District!
Actually I'm beginning to wonder whether it's too late to add "brush up on basic Geography" to The 2015 List.

Next month I will aim to...

Make some headway with The 2015 List. I'm three months into the year and I've only managed to tick off a measly two accomplishments. Maybe I won't aim for number 6 (climb Snowdon), but there are plenty of random things on there that would actually require very little planning (or effort). 

Monthly Musings: February

So the second month of 2015 has drawn to a close. I successfully survived another Valentine's Day alone without resorting to a heart-shaped chocolate overdose and, as we move into March, we're one step closer to being able to throw off our bulky winter coats and embrace the first signs of summer as it glimmers on the horizon (or, for those of us living in South Wales, a slight increase in temperature with a good chance of showers).

Those of you who read last month's musings will know that this month I challenged myself to spend less time shouting at re-runs of Judge Judy between mouthfuls of shortbread dipped in Nutella. Well, I'm proud to say I've spent a lot less time in my pjs this month, but I'm far from being anything close to interesting and/or fun. For instance, today I was determined to go out and 'live life', but the only place I could think of the go to is an overpriced bar 15 minutes from my house. So here I've sat, nursing the world's most expensive glass of lemonade and pretending to get some work done.

But at least I'm heading in the right direction I guess.

So here's a recap of my month...

That hair!

Obsession of the month...

My February obsession was Blown Away, an album by Carrie Underwood. I downloaded it at the start of the month and I've been continuously listening to it on repeat ever since. I'm listening to it as I drive, as I work, as I attempt to force my hair into a semi-attractive style, and I sing the songs to myself while I'm in the shower. I've been a Carrie Underwood fan for years (I don't know whether I'm more impressed by her music or her wonderful country-girl hair), but this is my favourite album of hers. It just makes me want to put on my cowboy boots and pretend I'm cool.

Accomplishment of the month...

While organising my lipsticks was a pretty big deal, I'm going to say the biggest accomplishment of the month was competing in my first cheer competition. No, scratch that. My biggest accomplishment was competing in my first cheer competition without having to run off the mat and vomit into the crowd of spectators. 
Either way, it was an amazing day and, if you haven't already, you can take a look at how the competition panned out in my cheer vlog.

Book of the month...

I got through quite a few books in February (determined as I am not to lose any more brain cells), but the one that stood out for me was Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It was beautiful to read, words lovingly stitched together in a way that almost gave them a texture of their own. It really forced me to evaluate my life, to consider the passing of time and the inevitability of death, which, while far from uplifting, was certainly more interesting than the thoughts I usually encounter on a daily basis ("Why would they take Tangled off Netflix?" "My foundation just ran out. How can I possibly leave the house?" "If these crisps now have half the fat, can I eat two packets?" and so on).
But, honestly, this is the best book I have read in a long time. 

Youtuber of the month...

Linzy Rae 

If you like your beauty gurus funny, down to earth and honest then I'm convinced you will love Lindsay's channel. Have you ever watched someone on TV or Youtube and thought 'I wish we were BFFs, she looks like so much fun'? Well that's how I feel about Lindsay (and the Long Island Medium, but that's a story for another day). 

Things ticked off The 2015 List...

Any movie with hot men in uniform is fine with me

I was convinced I had utterly failed again and made it through another entire month without crossing a single thing off the list, but when I double checked, I realised I'd managed to tick one off without even realising it. That totally still counts!
29. Watch Top Gun
I'm not sure how I made it to the ripe old age of 23 without watching a film in which Tom Cruise runs around dressed in military uniform (seriously, where has this been all my life?!) but it's fair to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Apart from the depressing bit in the middle. I sobbed through that part.

Next month I will aim to...

Work out some kind of life plan. Or, at the very least, work out what to do with the next few months. Don't get me wrong, being a full-time Disney Princess is all very well and good, but I need to start asking myself some important questions. Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? If yes, who will realistically want to hire a 40 year old Elsa impersonator? Where shall I go on my summer holiday this year? Shall I get a fringe cut in?

By the end of March I'd like to have a clearer idea of what I'm doing with my life. Or, if not my life, then at least my hair. 

My Cheer Competition Check-List (Everything but the Kitchen Sink)

This weekend I'm going to my first ever cheer competition! I have a whole lot of feelings, but I'm not entirely sure which one I'm feeling most. Excited? Nervous? Achy from our last training session?

It's worth mentioning that Sunday's training session was our last chance to practise before the competition and we did more full-outs than I thought my body was physically capable of. (For those of you who aren't down with the lingo, a full-out is when you run through your routine, complete with every jump, every stunt and every tumble...full out.) It was like being hit in the face with a brick. 

My arms are still hurting and I have a foot-shaped bruise on my right boob.

As the weekend draws closer, I am being plagued by an array of anxieties. What if I forget the dance? What count does that clap happen on? What if I get so overwhelmed by the stress that when I step onto the mat I blank out and forget everything...not just the routine, but everything like who I am and where I live? What if I forget to pack my lipstick?!

To alleviate some of the stress I've drafted up a check-list. I've tried to think up every possible scenario to ensure I'm prepared for anything from migraines to smudged mascara and anything else you could think of, short of a tsunami. 

So I thought I'd share it with you guys in case any of you are going to your first competition too or in case you all just wanted to mock my obsessive compulsive need to pack everything.

Aimee's Cheer Checklist

Clothing:

Competition T-shirt (our uniforms aren't ready yet)

Nike pros

Trainers

Jogging bottoms

T-shirt to wear on the bus (in case of spillage)

Hoodie

Non-cheer shoes

Sports bra

White ankle socks

Spare sports bra

Spare white ankle socks

Spare pants (look, you never know)

Cosmetics:

• Hairspray
• Volumizing powder
• Hair gel (I don't even use gel, but seriously, you never know)
• Paddle brush
• Tangle Teezer 
• Comb
• Teasing comb
• Hair elastics
• Hair clips 
• Bobby pins (x 1million)
• Make-up (including brushes, eyelash glue, setting spray etc)
• Lip balm
• Make-up wipes
• Cotton buds
• Cotton balls
• Moisturiser 
• That grungy hair-band I use to hold back my hair while I put my make-up on 
• Deodorant

Miscellaneous Essentials:

• Money
• Camera
• Phone
• Chargers 
• Water
• Food
• Some form of sugary snack for a pre-competition boost
• Ipod
• Paper and pen (who knows what you might be inspired to write down?)
• Umbrella (I refuse to let the rain ruin my poof)

Emergency Items:

• Wrist/ ankle straps
• Plasters
• Beroca
• Deep Heat
• Sticky tape
• Scissors
• Tissues
• Painkillers 
• Prescription tablets 
• Spare contact lenses
• Glasses
• Tweezers
• Stain remover pen
• Emergency tampons (wouldn't that be the worst timing ever?)

I'm pretty sure that covers everything, but if anyone can think of anything I'm missing please let me know!

Now that I've got everything set out in writing, I feel a lot less stressed. At least I know the recurring nightmare about me having to perform in my pants because I've forgotten my shorts won't come true.

My next concern is working out how to get my hair into one of those cheer poofs.

 

It's going to take some practise...

My New Year's Resolutions (with the best of intentions)

Last year my New Year's resolution was 'to be better'. I'm not sure that I ever truly understood what I really meant by that other than that I wanted to improve every aspect of my life in one fair swoop. I had a vague idea that it would include everything from getting up earlier to reading more, dabbling in the Welsh language to becoming some kind of vegetable-loving, meditating, eco-friendly woman of the world who also puts time and effort into getting her hair to lie flat and wears good shoes.

Clearly this was not a good resolution. It was way too vague and ridiculous. I couldn't keep up with all the different aspects of it, partially because they changed from one day to the next. This year I'm going to set myself a list of clear cut, attainable goals with the best of intentions (which, as we know, the road to Hell is paved with) and I'm sharing them with you guys so that I'll feel more obligated to actually get up and do them.