The Return of the Littlest Loon!

It's been just over a year since I managed to get my niece to take 10 minutes out of her busy schedule of pretending to be a cat and hiding Playdough under the sofa to sit down and answer a series of questions about her life. I published her bizarre little ramblings in a blog post, which was (inevitably) heavily focussed on unicorns and princesses.

Now Lauren is six years old and I couldn't help wondering just how much her answers to those questions had changed over the course of a year. I mean, sure, her favourite colour is no longer pink, she's cast aside Sleeping Beauty in favour of Princess Jasmine and you'll never catch her performing the once beloved 'Cutie Patootie' dance. But how much has that adorable little weirdo really changed in the last thelve months?

To answer that question I spent last Saturday afternoon delving into the mind of a teeny tiny loon again as she sat on my bed, munching her way through a packet of digestive biscuits. (When I got into bed that night there were crumbs everywhere!)

And here's what she had to say. Everything I said is in purple and Lauren's words of wisdom are in green.

Ok, you ready?

Yeah.

What makes you happy?

Having fun!

What kind of fun?

Umm...going to the park and going to the trips in school.

What makes you sad?

When people are mean to me in school.

What makes you laugh?

Telling me jokes and me being silly.

If you could do anything today what would you do?

*Long interval of biscuit munching*

Umm...go to Disneyland!

How old are you?

*Gives me a dirty look as if I am the worst auntie in the world for even daring to ask this*

Six!

How old am I?

*Shrugs*

Have a guess.

Thirty two?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Ump,,,,,nothing.

Nothing? What are you going to do all day?

Stay in the house and be lazy. And I'm not going to have a boyfriend either. I'm going to stay on my own and be lazy.

All on your own?

Well...some kids.

You're going to have some kids?

Yeah. But I'm not going to have anything in my house except a bed.

But you don't want a boyfriend. Children need a mammy and a daddy.

*munch munch munch*
....I'm going to be an auntie then. 

Ok.

I don't want kids. No! I don't want my own. But I want a grand-kid. I don't want my own kids. 

You don't?

No! ...How old are you?

Twenty four.

...Ok. What's the next question?

Who's your best friend?

Tommy. No, actually Tommy isn't my best friend. He's my boyfriend.

So who's your best friend?

Rex and Max.

I haven't heard of them before. Are they in your school?

No. *whispers* They're in the caravan.

What's your favourite animal?

Rainbow Dash.

What's your favourite song?

Bad Romance!

What's your favourite food?

Umm...broccoli?

Where is your favourite place to go?

Disneyland!

What are you really good at?

Maths.

What are you not very good at?

Nothing!

You're good at everything?

*giggles like a crazy person* 
I'm not good at making people! 

What do you want for your birthday?

A real friend Rainbow Dash pony! 

What did you do today?

Umm...played a game. I was in the caravan and then I played a game and then I came to Nanna's house and I played a game again and then I'm going home and I'm going to play a game agaaaiiin!!

Those were all the questions. Do you have anything to add?

I want to stick my tongue out!  

And there you have it!
You know, part of me wonders what a trained professional would make of some of that...

Someone Hand me a Tiara, I'm Officially a Princess!

"...we're both women of business..."

Well, I've hinted at it and mentioned it in passing and used all of my self control to stop myself from blurting it out for the past month or more while boring bits of paperwork were still being signed and nods from official-type people were waiting to be received, but at long last I am officially self-employed. My Entrepreneur Barbie beams down at me from my dressing table every morning and I think about how much we have in common. We both like shoes and pink things and we're both women of business now. Granted her hair is significantly better than mine and she never gets bags under her eyes, but I try not to dwell on that.

So what is this business I hear you cry? Am I going to be some kind of high powered business woman in a suit, talking about graphs and holding business meetings in Starbucks? No. Of course not.

"I am...a princess"

I am fulfilling my life's ambition. I am...a princess. I think the technical term is 'children's entertainer', but I love to see how people react when they ask what I do for a living and I tell them I'm a princess. They are most likely inwardly debating whether or not I'm crazy. 

But I swear I am totally sane. Or, at least, as sane as I have always been. I've started up a hire-a-princess business. If you read my post about Lauren's birthday party back in August, then you may recall the Elsa impersonator we hired. The one who had her black bra on show and seemed to have no actual knowledge of Frozen. And didn't actually talk to the children. Or smile.

Well right then I there I decided to go ahead and become a princess impersonator myself. I mean, clearly this job is only second to actually working in Disney World! And, being a perfectionist, and lifelong princess fan, I knew I could do a good job of it.

So my bedroom is covered in glitter and rhinestones and there are princess-themed props all over the house (much to my mother's dismay). I've gone on a business course and can now confidently navigate Microsoft Excel and sort out my taxes. I have leaflets and my very own business page on Facebook (which you should totally go and like, by the way) and things are finally getting off the ground.

I had my first party this weekend and it was absolutely magical! The little ones were in awe and it was just fabulous! We had a princess story time, lots of lovely photos and the birthday girl had a very special pixie dust wish. One little one was a particularly big fan and came out with all sorts of wonderful questions and comments. My particular favourite was, "I've been at work all day in the killing factory. We kill the nasty animals for people to eat. Not the nice ones though, only the nasty ones". Oh, the mind of a four year old is a wonderful thing!

So I am officially a princess and loving every minute of it (apart from the accounts, obviously). I mean, prancing around, singing, watching Disney films and getting to dress up in sparkly princess dresses...it's the job I was born to do! 

A Princess Perfect Frozen Party...and Some Woman in a Wig.

The Littlest Loon turned five last week and, as a family, Wellingtons are not known for throwing low key, run of the mill celebrations. I attempted to throw a small, casual gathering for my birthday last September and ended up with a full blown Alice in Wonderland extravaganza  ("I want it to feel like an opium trip...lots of clocks and giant mushrooms..."). So it seemed only natural that I would spend the weeks leading up to Lauren's birthday battling with the glue gun, brushing glitter out of my hair and running around town trying to find a life-sized Olaf balloon to put together a Frozen themed party fit for a princess.

The party itself was a roaring success. True, there was a brief period at the start when things looked a little rocky. Lauren worked out how to use the smoke machine and, within a few minutes, you couldn't see from one side of the room to the other. Then the smoke alarms went off and the rest of the building started to evacuate. Right in the midst of the piercing shrieks of the fire alarm, the Elsa impersonator turned up and added an entirely new dimension of weirdness to the scene. Her yellow wig was off centre and her black bra was on show. Overall, I'm not sure anyone was convinced she was really the Queen of Arendelle.

"I'm not sure anyone was convinced..."

But, once we'd deactivated the smoke alarms, opened all the doors and windows to let out the fog, and 'Elsa' had left the building, things really picked up. We had all the usual children's party games, pass the parcel and musical statues. Then we brought out the karaoke, which was simply adorable right up until the third or fourth time I had to listen to another rendition of Let it Go. There were happy children everywhere and, after the last little one headed off with their party cone and a big grin on her face, I was more than happy to take a deep breath, relax into a chair and have a Jack Daniels. Who would have thought organising a fifth birthday party could be so stressful?


Anyway, I thought I'd show you some of the little bits and pieces I put together for the party in case any of you are planning a Frozen themed party of your own and want a few ideas. Most of the decorations I made were put together with things I already had around the house so be creative. In this instance anything with glitter is probably going to work just fine. 

I rushed this sign yesterday morning right before we went to the party and it's taken me until just now to realise I'd spelled Arendelle wrong (I knew it didn't look right!). Luckily most of our guests can't read very well yet so I think it went undetected for the most part.  

 I loved these little jars! I made three of them and each was slightly different. They were very simple to make, although quite time consuming. I made some very small tissue pom poms (instructions can be found on Google), glued them to some ice blue straws and embellished them with glitter and sparkly ribbon. I cut some snowflakes out of plain white card (who knew snowflakes were so hard to draw?) and added some gems and glitter and stuck them to the straws too. I made the little snowmen out of little white pom poms and coloured wooden craft sticks. Then I added some ribbon and sparkles to glass jars, stuffed them with cotton wool and arranged the decorations inside. 

I wish we had a better picture of the snow doorway, but you get the idea. The kids loved it (although by the end of the party it looked less like a flurry and more like the aftermath of a blizzard). I just threaded cotton wool balls of various sizes onto fishing wire. With the glue gun I secured each ball with a dot of glue underneath so they wouldn't slide back down the wire. Then I attached each length of fishing wire to ribbon, which we then pinned to the door frame so guests had to walk through the snow to enter the party.

These little food signs were easy to make and really emphasized the theme. It's essentially folded card that looks fancy because I added glittery snowflakes and cut it with a craft scissors. Sometimes the simplest things look the most effective.

I piped faces and buttons onto these marshmallows with writing icing. I never want to see another marshmallow for as long as I live, but the kids really loved them.

 

The Sven cupcakes were a big hit! All I did was ice my cupcakes with chocolate butter-cream, use mini marshmallows for the noses, iced on the eyes and mouths with writing icing and used cut up Curly Wurlys for the antlers.

Then my sister-in-law amazed everyone by making a three tier birthday cake. True, it's got nothing on Cake Boss, but considering she just picked up some icing and thought, 'I think I'll make Lauren's cake myself' I think it's fabulous! I thought cupcakes were stressful, but this is something else entirely!

Needless to say, it's going to be a while before I can bring myself to watch Frozen again. I'm still finding glitter in my shoes and last night, after weeks of stressful planning and late night glue-gunning, I slept for a solid twelve hours without any party related nightmares for the first time in a while. But Princess Lauren had a fabulous time and overall I'd call it a success. 

Now to plan my birthday party for next weekend. I've been pre-warned by my mother that this year all themes are banned...

The Littlest Loon: Like me, but Smaller and Louder.

My four year old niece, Lauren, is a loon. When her older brother first laid eyes on her he said, "Welcome to this world" as if she was an alien rather than a newborn. At the time we thought nothing of it, but looking back he may have been on to something. At two months months old she started to growl at us. She has only very recently grown out of it.

"...my little diva..."

Cupcake Mumma has a cute little interview with her daughter on her blog called 43 Questions for Midge and I thought I'd steal the idea to try out with Lauren. Unfortunately, I knew my little diva wouldn't have the attention span or patience to sit through forty three questions so I cut it down a little.

When I turned up at my brother's house yesterday afternoon, Lauren answered the door in an Anna dress, high-heeled Snow White shoes, fairy wings, and a face full of make-up. Her left eye was covered in purple eyeshadow and the right eye was plastered with pink eyeshadow. I'm not entirely sure if she was trying to set a new trend with that one. Then she began dancing and referring to herself as Strawberry Girl. It was a while before I could sit her down to answer my questions, but the answers were...interesting.

The following is what happens when you ask a four year old loon questions about herself. Everything I say is in orange, Lauren's answers are in purple and side remarks from Ellis (he couldn't help himself) are in green.

What makes you happy?

....

What makes you happy?

....I'm thinking....

Oh, ok. Take your time.

...Playing with Ellis on Infinity.

What makes you sad?

When Ellis shouts at me when I want to play infinity.

That's a lie!

What makes you laugh?

Bursting balloons.

If you could do anything today what would you do?

Oooh. Anything? If I bought an Elsa doll like my Rapunzel doll with long hair and not any plaits. Elsa one...umm...with the dress.

How old are you?

Four.

How old am I?

*Shrugs*

Have a guess.

...Thirteen?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Princess.

Who is your best friend?

Tommy.

What is you favourite animal?

Oooh. Unicorn!

*Sigh*

What is your favourite song?

You know.

Let it go?

No.

Cutie Patootie?

No. 

Underpuppy?

No.

Gangnam Style?

No! Wreck it Ralph! *Laughs hysterically*

What is your favourite food?

Chocolate.

Where is your favourite place to go?

Neverland.

What are you really good at?

You know. Balancing.

What are you not very good at?

Jumping.

What do you want for your birthday?

The Elsa doll like my Rapunzel one.

What did you do today?

Play princesses.

If you were invisible for a day what would you do?

Umm...go in front of them?

"...a four year old loon..."

So there you have it. It's like a window into the mind of a deranged person. When the questions were over, she looked at me and said, "Now I'm going to follow you wherever you go because I love you. I will follow you. Forever. You can't walk away from me."

"So...kind of like a stalker then?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Ok. Great."

But I want to leave you with this anecdote. Lauren went into my brother's room one morning, woke him up, leaned in close to his face and said, "Mam Morgan is going to die in one hundred sleeps." How creepy is that? We have it marked on the calendar. Just in case.