The Littlest Loon: Like me, but Smaller and Louder.

My four year old niece, Lauren, is a loon. When her older brother first laid eyes on her he said, "Welcome to this world" as if she was an alien rather than a newborn. At the time we thought nothing of it, but looking back he may have been on to something. At two months months old she started to growl at us. She has only very recently grown out of it.

"...my little diva..."

Cupcake Mumma has a cute little interview with her daughter on her blog called 43 Questions for Midge and I thought I'd steal the idea to try out with Lauren. Unfortunately, I knew my little diva wouldn't have the attention span or patience to sit through forty three questions so I cut it down a little.

When I turned up at my brother's house yesterday afternoon, Lauren answered the door in an Anna dress, high-heeled Snow White shoes, fairy wings, and a face full of make-up. Her left eye was covered in purple eyeshadow and the right eye was plastered with pink eyeshadow. I'm not entirely sure if she was trying to set a new trend with that one. Then she began dancing and referring to herself as Strawberry Girl. It was a while before I could sit her down to answer my questions, but the answers were...interesting.

The following is what happens when you ask a four year old loon questions about herself. Everything I say is in orange, Lauren's answers are in purple and side remarks from Ellis (he couldn't help himself) are in green.

What makes you happy?

....

What makes you happy?

....I'm thinking....

Oh, ok. Take your time.

...Playing with Ellis on Infinity.

What makes you sad?

When Ellis shouts at me when I want to play infinity.

That's a lie!

What makes you laugh?

Bursting balloons.

If you could do anything today what would you do?

Oooh. Anything? If I bought an Elsa doll like my Rapunzel doll with long hair and not any plaits. Elsa one...umm...with the dress.

How old are you?

Four.

How old am I?

*Shrugs*

Have a guess.

...Thirteen?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Princess.

Who is your best friend?

Tommy.

What is you favourite animal?

Oooh. Unicorn!

*Sigh*

What is your favourite song?

You know.

Let it go?

No.

Cutie Patootie?

No. 

Underpuppy?

No.

Gangnam Style?

No! Wreck it Ralph! *Laughs hysterically*

What is your favourite food?

Chocolate.

Where is your favourite place to go?

Neverland.

What are you really good at?

You know. Balancing.

What are you not very good at?

Jumping.

What do you want for your birthday?

The Elsa doll like my Rapunzel one.

What did you do today?

Play princesses.

If you were invisible for a day what would you do?

Umm...go in front of them?

"...a four year old loon..."

So there you have it. It's like a window into the mind of a deranged person. When the questions were over, she looked at me and said, "Now I'm going to follow you wherever you go because I love you. I will follow you. Forever. You can't walk away from me."

"So...kind of like a stalker then?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Ok. Great."

But I want to leave you with this anecdote. Lauren went into my brother's room one morning, woke him up, leaned in close to his face and said, "Mam Morgan is going to die in one hundred sleeps." How creepy is that? We have it marked on the calendar. Just in case.