My Biggest Challenge: Week 1

Let's clarify something. I can't run. At all.

At this point people tend to think I'm being modest and will attempt to say comforting things like, "Everyone can run if they really try", "I'm sure you aren't that bad", or, worst of all, "Oh, me neither". I don't even want to think about the number of times someone has forced me to don a pair of trainers and head outside for a jog because 'they can't run either'. The result is always the same. They prove that, in reality, they can run, while I stagger behind, wishing I could catch up with them...so I could strangle them for making me go running.

I can't pinpoint exactly what it is that makes me entirely incapable of putting one foot in front of the other. My Dad ran marathons back in the day so a few years back I asked him to survey my technique. After a few disastrous sessions he said he'd never seen anything like it, it defied all logic, and that there was nothing he could do for me. My extreme lack of co-ordination and balance have something to do with it, I'm sure, but my failure seems to run deeper than that. Even as a small child I refused to play tag. I simply could not do it.

So, because life isn't difficult enough with my dissertation still buzzing around my head like a swarm of gnats and an essay due next week I've lost all my notes for, I've signed myself up for a sponsored run. Because apparently deep down I must be some kind of masochist. But what's the point in asking people to sponsor me for something easy or that I enjoy like fancy dress, a bake sale, or a cocktail drinking marathon (although you can add that last one to my list of things to do this summer)?

The 5k (yes, 5 whole k) is in June and I thought I'd share my progress in a weekly update of all the horrors of training. Because what's the point in inflicting misery and humiliation on myself if no one else can enjoy it?

Week 1

Day 1

I downloaded a running app to help me out. What I really need is some kind of magical genie, but this will have to do. It's called 5k Runner and it's supposed to get you 5k ready in just 8 weeks. It's a really useful app and if you're looking to take up running and have no will power or clue where to start, I highly recommend it. Even I can keep up with it, although I have to make allowances for the time I spend tripping over my own feet.

Letting go of the treadmill was my first big challenge. People really downplay how traumatising it can be to use one of those machines. My feet rarely do what they're supposed under normal circumstances so when the ground started moving I was convinced I was going to end up with an injury.

Day 3

I fell off the treadmill.

I was jogging, concentrating on the weird way my arms were moving and trying not to look down at my feet (watching the treadmill move makes me nauseous. I know, I am a model athlete) and then everything went wrong. My arm must have gotten tangled in the wire of my earphones so my phone flew across the gym. I turned around in shock, my feet forgot to move and the treadmill kept going. I ended up twisted in a weird angle, unable to understand what was happening, one foot on the treadmill, one foot off, incapable of making it stop. The guy directly behind me was totally judging me.

Day 6

I did not fall and managed to do the whole workout without stopping for fear of falling, which is a first. Hopefully no one else at the gym has picked up on the fact that my maximum running time is still only a minute (the app is building me up, run a little, walk a little), but the grey-haired lady on the treadmill next to mine almost definitely noticed that she was running significantly faster than me.


So week one is over, my legs hurt, I have some bruises and the gym instructor definitely thinks I'm weird. But I've raised £70 for a really good cause and the physical suffering of running makes a nice change from the mental suffering associated with writing my dissertation.

And now I am going to shamelessly promote my justgiving page where you can keep up to date with my fundraising...or, you know, donate to a good cause.

My Fundraising Page!!

I'm raising money for Action Duchenne, which is a very important charity to me.

Wish me luck in the upcoming week. I don't want to fall again...