A Fabulous 48 hours...with the Beacon

After being separated from my laptop for an entire week, I am finally back in Exeter with access to my blog, the internet and, most importantly, Roller Coaster Tycoon. So now I'm able to share all the gossip from last weekend's trip to Cologne to meet up with handsome American I met in Prague and also say, "I told you so" to anyone who secretly doubted whether I would make it back alive.

My weekend away started with thirteen hours of travelling. From my house in Exeter, I walked to the bus station, caught a coach to Bristol bus station, had three people push in front of me in the queue at Greg's while I was at said bus station, caught the shuttle bus to the airport, got a flight to Amsterdam, almost missed my connection because people will insist on not labelling the airport gates properly, got another flight from Amsterdam to Frankfurt, and then drove from Frankfurt to Cologne in the Beacon's fancy car, all on a single glass of wine. Add to that the fact that I simply couldn't fit all my necessary liquid items into the one clear plastic bag I was allowed to take through security, and that trying to smuggle my moisturiser through customs almost tipped my stress levels over the edge.

Needless to say, by the time I boarded my second plane, I didn't look as alluring and sophisticated as I had hoped. The woman next to me probably thought I was going to have some kind of nervous breakdown as I waited for the pilot to turn off the seat belt sign so I could have a go at trying to make myself look presentable. There was a lot of twitching, drumming of fingers, and muttering under my breath until I safely had my make up bag in front of me and a glass of wine in hand.

Forty minutes later I stepped off the plane with a face so transformed that the air hostess didn't recognise me and I was ready to do the whole, "Yes, I naturally look this great after travelling all day in the rain" charade.

We stayed at the Radisson Blue in Cologne, which was quite a step up from a Travel Lodge, let me tell you. It was absolutely amazing, what with its high ceilings, huge television in the room, two types of showers in the bathroom, swanky little bar downstairs complete with swivel chairs, and staff that called me 'Madame'.

And so that night we sat in the swanky little bar, drank whiskey, talked, laughed, and rolled our eyes at the general lack of chicken nuggets.

My hopes for the weekend were simple enough. Be absolutely perfect at all times and don't humiliate myself in front of the Beacon. I didn't even make it twelve hours before that bubble burst. First I delved into my makeup bag only to find that I'd left my mascara on the plane. Then we couldn't find the hairdryer. So I was forced to walk through the streets of Cologne with pale eyelashes and my damp hair tied up in ridiculous plaits. I looked like a tramp.

To compensate, I got all dressed up that night. Curls, LBD, the full shebang. Unfortunately when I opted to wear my sexy new stilettos I didn't anticipate how far away the train station was...or how many different ticket machines we'd have to walk to because none of them were working. All I could do was smile and hope I wouldn't end up with an incredibly unattractive limp. I didn't want to replicate both the tramp and pirate looks all in one day!

In the end we gave up on public transport (something I wish I could do for good based on my track record with busses) and got a taxi to Pepe's Cocktail Bar. Apparently it is the place to 'see and be seen' in Cologne. I'm not entirely sure how that works as the lighting was fairly dim so I didn't really see much of anyone. But the people we did see, from the staff to the somewhat awkward-looking couple at the bar, we made up dramatic and intricate fictional lives for. Anyone who thinks people watching is boring really needs to reevaluate their life. Or just drink more, because as the cocktails went down the back stories of everyone around us got more and more impressive.

In spite of having had one Black Russian too many (for which I totally blame the Beacon), I was determined to keep an air of grace and sophistication. This was especially difficult for me considering I don't have much of either even when I'm sober. But, that said, I somehow managed to get through the night without making a fool of myself. And a lovely evening ended with us watching Halloween entirely in German. Having never seen the film in English I found it rather hard to follow, but I enjoyed the dreadful 70s outfits.

And then came Sunday morning and with it, a rush to stuff everything back into my suitcase, an airport breakfast, and another full day of travelling. I've spent more time in packed airport shuttle buses, sat on a bench in Schiphol Airport, and dealing with liquid restrictions in my hand luggage than I care to think about. But maybe...just maybe, the Beacon was worth it.