6 PMS Struggles Every Woman will Understand

I once had a lecturer who was convinced that PMS was a social construct, derived from the necessity of some sort of biological 'evidence' that would corroborate with the myth that women are mentally inferior to men. Now, that's a nice theory and all, but I have 12 years worth of experience of mascara-stained tears and rage-induced door slamming to suggest that PMS is real. And a bit of a bitch. 

So, to distract me from my own monthly bout of emotional upheaval and pain, I thought I'd write up a list of ridiculous PMS struggles every woman will understand.

1. You've bloated to the size of a small house 
There's nothing like gaining 3lbs in the space of 2 days and ballooning to the size of the HMS Bounty to exacerbate an already emotionally challenging few days. Those cute new skinny jeans may have fit you on Monday, but now they're so tight there's a risk the button will shoot off and blind someone across the room from you. Just be grateful that someone invented sweat pants.

2. Your emotions are as unpredictable as the National Rail Service 
One minute you're sobbing over an episode of The One Show, the next you're overcome with a burning desire the jab someone's eyes out. You hate everyone and everything (except, obviously, Nutella) and if your period doesn't come soon there is a serious risk that the next person to push in front of you in the queue at the supermarket will meet with an untimely and gruesome end.

3. You're a blotchy, greasy mess
You woke up looking like some kind of partially evolved sub-species of human. You have spots on your chin so huge there's a risk that when they finally leave they might be legally entitled to take half of your belongings with them, and your entire head looks as though it has been dipped in a vat of oil. There is not enough makeup in the world to counter a serious case of pre-menstrual hideousness.

4. Your mental faculties have deserted you
You find yourself unable to retain the simplest of information, you put salt in your tea, moisturiser on your toothbrush, and find yourself spending a good 4 hours typing up a blog post about PMS which, on any other day, would have taken half an hour or less.

5. In the last 20 minutes you've consumed appropriately 6,000 calories
There is not enough raw cookie dough, melted cheese or white bread in the world to satisfy your random cravings and endless hunger. And if the PMS demands you eat and entire jar of Nutella, who are you to refuse?

6. You just...can't be bothered
Everything from brushing your hair to reaching over to grab the TV remote requires significantly more effort than you are willing to muster. All of life's unnecessary frivolities (work, cooked meals, looking presentable etc) go out the window in favour of donning your pjs and curling up in a cocoon of self-pity with 900g of chocolate and the entire Sex and the City boxset.

I May be a Freak, but I'm a Freak with Snazzy Pens: Cult Pens Review

I'm a freak. There are a great many layers to my weirdness and a whole array of kinks and quirks that contribute to my overall uniqueness, but essentially what it all boils down to is that I am a fairly quirky human being. I keep a box of buttons, organised by colour, I have over 150 Disney songs on my Ipod and I have a paralysing fear of cows (they just have such a menacing look about them!).

Another one of my odd traits is my obsession with stationary. I mean, is it really normal to have so many feelings about post-it notes and page dividers? And surely most people wouldn't include a label maker on their list of desert island must-haves, right? But I have a deep-rooted love for anything that can organise, colour-code or sub-divide any aspect of my life and there's simply nothing I can do about it.

So, when I decided to undertake a new project last weekend, I'm sure you'll now understand why said project simply could not go ahead until I'd ordered myself a new packet of fineliners. Fineliners were, after all, the only thing that kept me sane throughout the torturous months spent drafting my dissertation. Actually, Jack Daniels may have played a part too, but mostly it was down to having all of my spider diagrams colour-coded and cute-looking.

And now we finally arrive at the point of this post. On my search for the best value packet of fineliners I could get my hands on, I came across I website called Cult Pens and, if you're a freak like me then you need this website in your life.

They have every type of pen you could possibly need in your life as well as some other stationary-type bits and bobs and they had the best price I could find for those fineliners I so desperately needed. Not only that, but shipping was free and crazy fast (I placed my order Wednesday evening and here we are on Friday and I already have them). And not only that, but my parcel also contained some sneaky surprises. I got some complimentary Staedtler pencils to go with my Staedtler pens and...a packet of Haribo!

As if I wasn't excited enough about the fineliners, they go and throw in some scrumptious sweeties as well!

So I know the vast majority of you will think this post, along with my enthusiasm for colour co-ordination, is very strange and/or unnecessary, but when I find a product or a company that impresses me, I like to share it with you guys. Sometimes that may be a new App or a restaurant and sometimes it's a shop that specialises in pens. That's the beauty of this blog. You really never know what you're going to get...

Also, Cult Pens in no way paid me or offered me a lifetime supply of free pens or anything in exchange for this post (trust me, if I had a lifetime supply of pens coming my way, you'd all know about it). In fact, they have no idea I'm even writing this and, in all probability, will also think I'm a freak for my excessive pen enthusiasm.

But that's fine. Because I am a freak.